Mandy----Just everything...

gap.

2011-01-30T16:42:00.002+08:00

it has been a while since i've updated here.....

haha. i alr begun to miss him. so i've got nothing to do except to come here....

anyway, i changed skin because there seemed to be some error wif the old skin..

luckily this new skin works perfectly fine without much alteration.

haha....

my blog used to be my home page.

but now....

i gues i juz cant be bothered enough to make it my home page anymore.

neither do i feel lyk putting back my chat box now coz.... i dunno.

dun wanna go see if there are any new comments like last time.

haha.

today's weather is so rainy, so gloomy.

the sun isnt coming out.

and made both my fingers and toes cold...

how i wish its a sunny day.

at least that will make me feel better.

i have to enjoy 1 week of independence. YAY! .......

this time, i wun need another 1000 piece Jigsaw puzzle no more. =)

2011-01-09T01:14:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 6TH MONTH TO US!!!!! YAY!

it actually lasted more than i thought it wil be. =)

although we always fight, im relieved dat we are still together.

u always said i wasted too much tears on you.

but im glad that u used so much patience for me.

anyway, happy 6th month dear!

and dat's half a year, 72 days, 1728 hours, 103 680 minutes and 6 220 800 seconds.

even though we are not those "stick- together always" type of couple, i hope e time spent wif you wun go to waste. =)

demoralized.

2011-01-07T22:25:00.003+08:00

either i will lock this blog up, or i will start a private, hand- written diary soon.

or i will juz update this place, detached from my feelings.

hahaha. many kind of thoughts came up, and this is just 1st week of sch.

im tired of thinkin of how ppl will judge me.

insonmia

2010-12-28T03:44:00.001+08:00

I am right now using my iPod touch to type a post.... Abit inconvenient becoz I keep typing wrong words. >.<||| the keypad so small. And I'm so hungry... Haiiz. I screwed my body clock alr. So I can't sleep If it's too early... Can't even post pictures using this app. =( nevermind, at least this app is free. =D. Haiiz. I'm stuck at home for 3 days alr, breaking r record.

lonely day.

2010-12-27T00:27:00.003+08:00

housed for 2 days.

wif awful headache and flu.

perhaps i shouldnt hav thought so much.

i hav no control.

so i cant do anything.

tried to be cheerful

i really tried v hard.

but after 1 week really cant maintain cheerfulness anymore.

HAHA.

mayb my uncle is right.

im destined to get depression or sumthing in my life.

dun worry. my uncle not crazy. he is professional fortune teller.

dats what he says after reading my palm.

he say my character abit too strong

thinks alot abt everything, no sense of security.

likes to cry, easily agitated.

cant think thru things as easily as normal ppl.

hav chances of sinking into depression in future

hav sever migrain/headache (which im having right now as im typing this post. =.=)

i dunno.

my mom got so freaked out that day.

she from then on keep wanting to communicate wif me abt anything and everything.

=.=

we age gap soooo BIG. hw to communicate?!

srsly.

haiiiz. i appreciate her effort but sorry, it simply dun work.

i still cant get rid of loneliness in my life.

now i juz wish school start sooner.

I HATE STAYING AT MY HOME WIF NOTHING TO DO.

I HATE NO $$ .

i hate this headache.

i hate this weak body.

i rather i hav alot of $$ and live a short life.

at least i enjoy all of it.

but of course, when u hav alot of money, u wun wish to hav a short life anymore.

COZ HUMAN ARE FUCKING GREEDY ANIMAL.

u dun giv them, they wish and hope and beg

u giv them, they want more

giv them more, wish for even more.

endless pit of greed.

had fun playing maple today.

met a grp of friendly party.

but i doubt we will ever play tgt agn.

haiz.

i feel limited and trapped.

why.

Merry merry x'mas~

2010-12-23T13:51:00.002+08:00

OMG. how i wish my house is in e picture. T^T

1 major disadvantage of living in singapore is that...THERE IS NO SNOW.

haiz. after living for 18 yrs, i had never seen real snow once in my lifetime.

so pathetic. =(

ok i noe i noe.... everybody (singaporean) had been lyk that before....

but. HAIZ.

i wanna go live in places wif 4 seasons!

anyway. lol. there may be an occasional blog posts here and there now in this blog...

coz mr chew wants me to continue blogging...

so bo bian. cant quit. =.=

one big news: MY IPOD/ITUNES FINALLY CAN USE ALR.

let me tell you the whole process and decide whether buying this ipod is my worst idea or not huh:

had to borrow $$ here and there to make it enuf for purchase of ipod
continuous nagging of mama and benny
the day which i bought ipod, was a v bad day.
cannt install itunes
tried all night cannt install itunes still
go benny's hse to ask him help me install, cannt still
call 1800-my-apple for 3 hrs, wait 45 mins for senior technician/advisor, cannt install still
the senior technician ask me go reboot my com/ fix my com registry
go to ACER and found out that i run out of warranty, and didnt bring disk for back up.
go back to ACER 2nd time after backing up of data and com book in
got back com after reboot and finally can install itunes
haftu set up an itune account, but stuck at payment set up coz dun hav credit card, so call 1800-my-apple for advice
realise that they removed e "none card" payment option, so being advised to "use some valid credit card number for payment profiling" (=.=)
after using a valid credit card, finally itunes account complete.
transfer of all music songs into itunes
and the itunes version is OUTDATED, so it doesnt sense my ipod
call 1800-my-apple agn to fix my ipod problem (finally solve my itunes now ipod also. =.=)
realise that old version doesnt work, so haftu update it
after update finally can sense ipod, and wrap up.
2 weeks after purchase, finally can use ipod touch 4.

wa lao. u say, how can i not feel fed up wif that?!

HAHA.

but since its finally over.

and i learnt alot.

wa sia.

i tink e apple helpline i can memorise alr.

LOL.

and i talked to at least 5 technicians alr.

can make friends? =)

sia la.

just one small problem here..... my ipod batt doesnt really last. LOL.

but never mind. lyk i care.

no energy alr~ HAHA!

and lyk finally this year's xmas can be special. HAHA! =)

i couldnt really sleep well this few days....

dunno why also.

and i find myself waking up at accurate times lyk 8.00am, 9.00am, 7.30am..

weird right!

i also dunno why. =o=

my body spoil alr la.

and my fever is come and go dat kind.

SIAN.

haiz.

human can never get enuf if they never know what is "enough".

farewell post.

2010-12-16T23:42:00.002+08:00

haha. this may just be one of e few last post here....

got alot of reasons:

2moro gonna put my com to reservice because the Itunes JUST WUN WORK ON MY STUPID COM. =.=
im going Malaysia this sat.
i dun hav much desire to use this blog as a tool for communication/weapon/hatred anymore
dun wanna share my thoughts to every1 anymore?

hmmm.....

although there are so many ppl out there who uses blog commercially, as in they jus post wat they think can use for discussion, of non-personal use.

wat i feel is dat for me, if i were to use a blog that only conveys superficial message...den really no point to maintain it le bah...

haha anyway....

these days, my mood is becoming more stable.

at least, i am making a HUGE effort to make it stable.

really. soompa.

hw to say, im starting to erm....ignore/let go alot of things which used to make me insecure in e past.

i dunno whether this is a right choice to make....

but erm...

at least if it make my life happier, i will do it.

i will really do anything to make my life exciting and happy.

if not life is soo tough to go by sometimes.

and i realise sumthink which make me insecure is whenever im lonely.

so whenever im lonely, i willl start to anyhow think.

then all that leads to alot of things coz my brain run quite fast.

=.=

im not praising myself.

ok enuf abt this.

gonna show u ppl some pictures.

very interesting de!!!

this si the sea pig. omg. lyk so slippery.

this is how an ANT looks lyk.

it looked so damn fierce for its size!

and erm. dun freak. but this is e face of a maggot.

yes. MAGGOT. look lyk cartoon rite!

just a random thought: i really wann a CAT! meow meow~!

and u guys should watch Marry Me! Mary. AKA mary stayed out all night.

JANG GEUN SUK IS DAEBAK.

hmmmm....

dun even noe how much this holiday is worth.

haiz.

its so short. yet so long.

2010-12-05T00:09:00.003+08:00

is it just me, or is it just you.

funny question.

why is it that i still felt used?

mayb im just too demanding.

~~mayb u are just too carefree.~~

mayb there is a mismatch.

~~mayb it just meant that we're simply not meant to be.~~

i know its a wrong time to do this.

and i noe u wun think more then this page.

i dun want to sleep with tears at night.

PS: for ppl who tink that i may be too AA. i am not.

dun bother to read this if u find me irritating.

i am just who i am. be it emo or not.

Consumer Behaviour TB pg 168

2010-11-27T20:40:00.001+08:00

jus tried out sumthing rather interesting in e TB.

go www.outofservice.com/bigfive and u will noe!

My results: I'm a O47-C13-E70-A4-N90 Big Five!!

AHHAA! back to study. =(

i HEART Desserts!

2010-11-23T22:57:00.002+08:00

i love desserts!

makes you feel so blessed and euphoric when eating it.

today, i get to eat the Mango Passion Fruit Slice ice @ a dessert shop in JP with dear.

woa.

song bo?

damn nice la!

e passion fruit balls will squirt juices when u bite em!

HAHA!

and e slice ice is very deep in flavour!!!!

HAHAHA!

LOL! my hand lyk kena chopped off. =o=

as usual, act cute king. =D

im undeniably having some emotional issues due to e hormone pills.

up and down, and trying to keep all of them under control.

often, dearie is e 1st one to get e impact.

HAIZ.

i dunno, i dun feel dat my arguing points are wrong, but i jus feel apologetic for him having to put up with me during this period.

had famous amos cookies!

HAHA. damn ex la!

still say i wanna scrimp and save.

today alr spent $10. =.=

OMG.

my itouch is flying away!

today is a yummy day!

all e food made me happy!

i wish fc4 will ways hav e $2 big plate chicken rice. =(

so hua suan.

HAIZ.

i really muz sheng qian.

and focus on studies!

coz i gave up my job for sch alr. =)

Listen

2010-11-17T22:23:00.001+08:00

寂寞星球的玫瑰

遥远612星球一无所有

最荒芜的沙丘根本看不到尽头

降落612星球缘分是理由

从前的宇宙从此她变成独有

寂寞星球的玫瑰她最珍贵

小王子爱着玫瑰每天浇水

却不能体会玫瑰其实憔悴

柔弱的小小玫瑰害怕心碎

天真用刺来防卫针锋相对

怕幸福太美乐极会生悲

他知道她的困惑和她的难过

听过她的沉默感受过她的冷漠

日落在寂寞星球谁陪在左右

玫瑰带刺背后是伤过的心在颤抖

寂寞星球的玫瑰她最珍贵

小王子爱着玫瑰每天浇水

却不能体会玫瑰其实憔悴

我是那小小玫瑰害怕心碎

天真用刺来防卫针锋相对

怕幸福太美乐极会生悲

寂寞星球的玫瑰你最珍贵

小王子爱着玫瑰每天浇水

快忘了伤悲快擦掉眼泪

亲爱的小小玫瑰你最珍贵

请你要卸了防备放下怨怼

不要在后退用心去体会

日出在寂寞星球他陪在左右

放心牵着他的手不要再耽误时候

if only you understand.

experation

2010-11-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

still in an attempt to be more cheerful.

shyna say after stopping e medicine e mood will be better.

hais. now i wish i can dun need e medicine.

i dunno its it e pills or my ownself.

i just hav this uncontrollable urge to detest anything which went out of way.

mayb to top up e pills i need anti-depressant pills to bring my mood up.

x'mas is coming very soon!

2010-11-14T19:10:00.003+08:00

ive told ah ma that i would quit as soon as this month ends.

guess i wun be having a 2nd christmas in Breadtalk HFC anymore. =)

sumhow im more relieved than sad.

maybe im just...too worned out i guess?

hahaaha.

anyway. i needa tell myself to save more.

must save more!

COZ I NEEDA GET MYSELF AN ITOUCH.

i noe, i noe. ive abandon this idea for a long time.

but the urge came up agn, and its stronger than last time!

i need a cheap itouch.LOLS.

just went through my blogposts for the past few yrs just now..

say alot of "me" and how i am last time.

im super emo last time.

LOL.

and i hate myself for not saying my feelings out.

so is all the mess.

LOL. i saw that im just a messed up little girl who is unsure of her own future, her own family, her own feelings and keep denies herself of her selfworth.

and sadly, there are no friends lyk now who actually knows how to solve my problem(s), so the emotion brewed and caused alot of eruptions which finally went out of control and ta-da: THE END.

LOLS. now that i am actually laughing about it, it just made me appreciate what i hav now more.

my friends, including the one who said she is willing to become my bay, =)

my love, who have endured countless arguments and watever kind of shit i hav given him.

mayb i hav taken ppl for granted the way i used to be.

so i muz be assertive!

must be more straightforward!

muz show more love to every1 around me!

must prevent myself from being emo!

....................................................................................

now who wants to be my sunflower? to bring cheerful life to me! me! =D

ok i really hav to do hw alr.

discipline ppl!

new day ahead.

2010-11-12T22:13:00.002+08:00

i decided to try and become more positive today by forgoing wat happened ytd.

and i was reading The Straits Time when i come across this section on Recruitment:

How to manage difficult ppl by stating your case calmly without violating their rights.

So, mainly there are ppl out there who displays 3 types of behaviours :

Submissive

flight response
avoid stating their needs and feelings
communicate thier needs and feelings in an apologetic way
give others right that they don't claim for themselve

2. Aggressive
fight response
encourage others to do thigns either by manipulation and flattery
ignore needs of others
take rights for themselves that they dont giv to others.

3. Assertive
logical, thinking behaviour
being clear and direct
stating ur needs and watns in a straightforward way
standing up for ur rights without violating the right of others

Conclusion: Assertive behaviour is encouraged as it is a very positive response in any interaction. it makes it clear to the other person wat is the issue and allows you to calmly state ur case without fighting their rights, hence makes life less stressful for you!

so...ppl, which type of ppl are you?

LOLS.

srsly i think im more on e submissive side.

and im going to make my life easier by going more assertive?

haha.

shit. why am i getting headache and stomachaches nnowadays!?

FML once agn.

=/=

FML

2010-11-11T23:19:00.004+08:00

i cried every single day this week.

many things happened and i juz sumtime couldnt keep up.

as i remained silent, i wonder wat else should i think abt.

i wondered why in my life happy things does not overcome sad things

now my family is in a mess.

my father shouted at me, and i shouted back.

he got louder and bigger actions came.

i countered.

and i pushed them all away, all in e name of my dignity.

and i went hysterical to a point that my mom has to close e door because of my loud cries.

in the end. what actually happened.

im tired of standing up for myself

for im always to be seen in the wrong and they are in e right.

and they hav e right to scream at me and then blame me for taking out my anger on them while they seem to think that they hav every right to do so.

they scold e hell out of me for vulgarities.

and they use vulgarities at me too.

excellent.

just so you now, i hav minimal respect left for my parents and if they try to do something funny agn.

im not so sure of how i might react anymore.

considering that i juz cried early in e morning today

i tink my tears hav unlimited supply.

Last day of our Long Weekend: Im gay today!

2010-11-07T14:16:00.005+08:00

awwww.....

i bet many ppl are gonna groan 2moro for having to start their hectic lives all over agn.

me too.

this week is s special weekend for me because:

im a jobless girl this week! i get the whole 3 free days all to myself.
following up e 1st reason, i get to sleep until i wake up naturally, play my hp in my bed (a thing which i haven been doing for awhile because i need to rush out after i woke up asap everyday
get to go with Benny and his family for a day out @ ECP
i can sip my coffee slowly and stare at e window

LOLS.

yep. but im so tired ytd dat i sleep without swtiching off my com agn.

i wake up at 4 by the light and switch them all off.

lao niang loves to sleep in a completely dark room.

those 伸手不见五指 kind. HAHA!

den i wun be able to see anything horrible before i sleep. =)

im a very insecure girl.

some of e very inresting article i saw on Stomp.

yes yes, im becoming more and more 鸡婆。 i dunno why also.

AHHA.

the following shows how different phone users differentiates among themselves.LOL!

actually there is a black berry ver too but im jus too lazy to post coz little/none of my friend uses blackberry. =)

need a hairy BF?

consider this weird shaving design before claiming that u love his hairs. =o=

and next is sum picture of my fave interior designs! i really like my future hse to look dat that. my 落地窗！！！！

i will b rich to buy them sum day.

...... ...........

HAIZ.

T_T i wonder if i will be able to buy sum house wif a 落地窗 for me in S'pore.

and this Audi R8 Sypder is so damn sleek and cool!

it looks lyk drving a choco bar ard! so cool!

and my fave colour brown!

seldom see a car in brown.

got a little excited.haha?

SOOOOOO cool!

and and AND!

guess wat is e colour of a cockroach's body parts?

BLUE!

omg. really. as if their outer appearance isnt freaky enuf. =.=

this is just so damn disgusting!!!!!

i tink my mtd of boiling e cockroach to death is the best!

clean, no mess, and sterilises that dead body of e cockroach!

i really hope cockroaches will extinct on this planet. =.=

i forgot when we took this pic....

benny always smiles awkwardly at e camera which i dunno why. LOL.

dun even tell me he is camera shy COZ HE IS NOT. NO NO NO.

i love this picture!

i took them while walking up to Sch Of business. the weather is so nice these days.

蓝天白云！

HAHA!

machiam like window Xp wallpaper isnt it?

i got professional skills. ^^

ok i jus took this to show you dat i dun hav any sense to be neat and tidy.

everytime i go home, i juz ended up throwing my things alll over e floor.

lyk dat:

and no, that white little thing on my blue bag isnt my panties, is a tissue.

LOL.

long post isnt it?

so i wun be updating for awhile. HEHE.

hold me.

2010-11-05T23:08:00.002+08:00

im a mess recently.

im getting my emo-syndrome.

LOLS.

i cant believe i actually ripped one of my pants apart because im so angry ytd.

i didnt realise anything wrong until benny scolded me for doing that when i told him.

lol. i dunno. ytd was.... i dunno wat ytd was. LOL.

i only remembered dat im so haunted by the thought of my bra dropping down on e streets in e middle of Little India dat i got so freaked out and cant help but cry infront of every1.

.......

stupid mandy.

LOL

i was trembling in e toilet cubicle dat it got me quite a while before i went out.

bloody red was my eyes. even though i thought i looked quite sexy.

LOL?

randomly, i just hope i wun be getting Stomped sumday. =X

coz im doing stupid things these days wif Mr Chew.

LOL.

viwawa for so long.

im so tired.

LOL!

cant win! =(

sad.

im gettting one of those stupid headaches or wat u call Migraines?

URGH. i tell u its fucking awful.

dat particular vessel just throbbed the whole way until u feel lyk cutting open ur head and pull dat throbbing nerve out.

sumtimes i juz wish i can get out of my life and live other ppl's life.

majority ard me are on better hands and this made me felt inferior in many ways.

no matter hw hard i work, i will still be a stigma from the middle-lower income family who hav to use tolerance more than e times i use my mouth to eat.

i love my parents, but i juz wish the circumstances would be different.

some times i wished there wasnt such a big age gap between us dat i dun even noe wat are they using to communicate abt.

oh a cheerful note, pay is coming in 2moro!

but i spent so damn much this mth.

i think my pay is not enuf to compensate for all e expenses.

FML.

omg. i got stomachache.

damn i gotta go toilet alr.

2010-11-05T15:23:00.001+08:00

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz
The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others.
Left Brain Dominance:	(16)
Right Brain Dominance:	(16)
Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

ooh. so i use both side of my brain equally.
so am i supposed to be intelligent? =p

disciplinary thoughts required.

2010-10-31T21:50:00.006+08:00

i need lots of discipline ! really.
since 3 hrs ago, i want to do my tutorials.
i regret to say that i didnt touch em until now.

so i shall blame myself if my GPA doesnt improve.

i juz keep playing Big 2 @ Viwawa.
made sum friends, had fun, and got myself addicted.
holy shit.
LOL.

dear, promise dat u will play wif me. HAHA. if not im gonna hav a viwawa bf soon. =X

life is chaotic nowadays.
ppl are starting to jump and bite and break.
our class, as united as always, is showing cracks of displeasure and frustration.
sadly, to which i think its a pity.
even though im in for more of a "lets peace out" idea,
i do hav my own frustration too, which only closer ppl will noe.
even though mine is not a common (open) "enemy", i intend to carry these feelings wif me as i sincerely think ______ deserves it.
i hope she (they) will fall down one day. ~~fail right infront of me. HAHAHA.~~ (sorry.)

(the "enemy" im referring to is not our dear friend JJ though. =] just in case ppl assume assume ar. )

aaanyway. so here am i, finally blogging, 2 days after promising dear i will blog to entertain him. (=.=)
anyway, Koi is a awesome cafe wif an awesome milktea which i never gotten sick of.
=D

and let u see yi xia my face in case u forgot hw i looked lyk.

me and zhibai recently like to eat this BIG a plate of fruits.
in our attempt to shit healthily.
it cost $4 ok! (dun laugh at us nxt time for eating this leh. LOL)
see e colors? so appetizing! awwww~

damn now e big nerve in my smaller thigh is stiff lyk hell.
i think i overdid my cardio exercise ytd.
bo bian ma. im simply too frustrated, and i cant go out coz it fucking rained.
den i vent all my energy on dat. and hola~ i get a super stiff smaller thigh.

BANZAI!! MANDY. =.=

the following pics is going to summarise the suffering of my body this month OCtober.
NC 16 for violence and if possible, gore. LOLS.

1.xiiao sexy burn

2.xiiao painful violent "kiap kiap" blue black

3. xiiao evidence of naughty playfulness

4. xiiao disgusting insect sucker

hmmmm.
u see my body suffers.
going along with it, the mind is constantly suffering under invisible forces.
different ppl faces different problems.
so dun judge me. =)

understanding and trust is e basis of any relationship to last.
some ppl can fake all this though.
coz they hav a different motive of other than being friendly.
of course, in times of life, we are bound to be guilty of wrong doings, wrong concepts.
lao niang is not saying im a holy girl hor. dun anyhow. HAHA.
i do it too.
but i see others do it too.
so dun blame me for making you feel guilty of this. =)

so..... vicious cycle much?

those which shown me dat u will always be true to me.
rest assured. i will reciprocate.
coz libra ppl are meant to maintain equality.

which means that how u treat them will affect how they treat you. =D

and i truly believe so.

weekend!

2010-10-22T21:04:00.002+08:00

2dae is fri! weekend!
i bet alot of office workers are celebrating in pubs and clubs 2night.
HAHA.
and yay! i no need to work on e fri night alr!
coz i change my future shifts to thu.
HAHA.

but 2moro still muz go work early in e morning.
=(

2dae only hav 1 hr lecture
coz blaw tutorial and HR lec cancelled.
oh hw i wish every fri is lyk dat!
gahahaha! =X

den went to JP wif most DBA 14A ppl and makan e Pontian Wanton mee.
shiok sia e tomato!!! ^^
dunno why they keep saying tomato more unhealthy.=(
i sincerely think tomato are most healthy de liao.
LOL!

den went to watch Paranormal Activity wif Chew Big Pig.
erm....not as scary as i thought but i still screamed. -.-
yea yea. i am a noob. NOOOB~
anyway, it was awful dat e demon juz dragged e mother all e way from 2nd floor to 1st floor.
and u cant even see its form!!!!
its lyk air and everything went violent ard her.
oh, sorry i shldnt hav post spoilers here so... hmmm
=] not a bad movie though.

then me and Chew Big Pig went to eat e infamous Cheesy 7 pizza.
and u good thing is u juz hav to add $2 for Hawaiian topping!!!!
sally said its plain. hmm did you put toppings sally?
i tink ok leh.
HAHA!

. =

u see this guy happy until lyk wat. LOL! even though he is paying e bill, i still think he look more lyk my......son. =.= (sorry.)

and i just hav to put this up.
OMG! did u see dat cute little thing in there?!
thats e cutest thing ever!!!
10% cuter den Lambo!
muahahaha!!!! awwww! i wantu kiss him!
LOL! (i sound lyk a pedophile. =o=)

awwwww~ ^^

1st week of sch went by fast, and slack, and traumatic.
this sem's lecturers are all those " u will hate them but u also love them" kind.
their hav tons of rules and regulations and watever expectations and unpleasing characteristics (except Ms Olivia Ong though) but their lessons are nice and more ineteresting then sem 1. (except FEB, which is e only lecture i slept this week)

i dunno. i only hope for e best.
alot of them are enforcing strict rules for punctuality and i tink i will freak nxt time if im late.
and Mr Chew ordered me to meet him 20 mins earlier. =o=!!
aaaa! my sleep time!
T_T
really lucky that wed and fri class are later.
=X

and this is e 1st week and my body is in a wreck.
since my body clock is being screwed by sum1 called Chew Big Pig, i could really adjust to waking up in early morning everyday and now results in having a headache.
ytd's headache is because of e heat i think.
2dae? i dunno.
ben lai plan to go Bugis for further shopping....
but e headache is killing my mood and i ended up going home early.
awwww. waste my night time.

wat i am worried abt is that i e 1st week, which is slacky, and short, and with minimal learning, is alr making me exhausted to such a stage, den wat will i become a few weeks ltr?!
T___T

i dun dare to hallucinate.

HAIZ...
pls spare my life and let me live eaiser! =(

just like everybody else: BACK TO SCH

2010-10-18T23:50:00.004+08:00

well, i guess 1st day of sem2 is such a traumatic experience?

i couldnt find any reasons to like any modules this sem coz of various reasons liek:

nasty lecturers
horribly boring module content
particularly lengthy notes
and expensive txtbooks.

these reasons applies relevantly to sem2 modules perfectly.
=.=

oh god. since 1st day, i slept in lecture, and im bored.
and im not allowed to use my phone in lectures?
wat happened to all that human freedom which is about e only thing dat make us proud to be in poly?
god damn sem 2.

as usual, many funny ppl are out there, throwing out various stunts and shows as if our stage isnt exciting enough.
hw fantastic!
now i get to watch shows all day long! hw nice huh?

my new addiction: DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
now i perfectly understand why it is such a mega popular sit-com.
its plot never dies! you know? and we get to see this daily life thingy, hw ppl react to watever they feel or do, how they solve the problem in their lives....

it was like watching sumbody playing The Sims--real life.

it is realistic, happening, and sarcastically funny.....
no wonder it has gone to Season 7.
gabriella's really chio!

gabriell's really hot. = =

anyway, i guess i will b sleeping. if not i wun make it for 2moro's class
oh great. now i hav to worry for classes. agn.

since when mandy chan hates sch so much?
i also dunno.

AAAAAAh!

2010-10-13T14:21:00.003+08:00

disgusting wound isnt it?
=( dunno which stupid insect dare bite me!!!!!
damn itchy sia!

another wound! T____T

my mum nagged so much about benny agn. = =

anyway~ mon went to east coast wif dba 13. HAHA
a day of cycling and random nonsense.
e bones near my zhibai still hurts. =(

and i damn fat in e shirt dat dat.
THATS WHY I HATE WHITE SHIRT!
>_<

this pic damn cute la~ e 眼神 e same! LOL

i really wanna lose fat!
but always fail.

unless i get a gym membership or go Jean yip dat kinda slimming program luh.
WHICH E PROBLEM IS I DUN HAV MONeY.
T_T

and i tink its so stupid of me to go lose for lose belly fat diet when im gonna go eat pizza ltr.
T^T BUT ppl really wanna eat mah!

i dun care.
eat alr den see how. humph!

spare tyre?
so be it.
>_<

oh, and
congrats to 周大猪 for passing his bbt.
LOL!

last week.

2010-10-09T23:06:00.003+08:00

mama went off to msia this week.
her absence. forced me to cook for myself.
HAHA
if not i will either be eating Mac's or maggie mee foe e whole week.

muahahaha. = =

so wat?
last week of holidays.
i feel so. haiz.
i dunno.
wasted.

really.
i dunno.
the level of unsatisfaction juz grew on me day by day.

there are 2 new full timers who will be working 11 hrs.
so. HAHA. my work time reduce le!
sibei happy.
but dunno hw long it will last.
coz sumhow our shop suay, and e stupid manager will take all these ppl away to other shops 1 day.

neh mind.
not my problem alr i guess.
by dec when itp starts i will quit anyway.
HAHA.

this mth ah bu last mth.
=(
haiz.
den nobody pei me play in e shop alr.
SAD.
ah bu ar.
>_<

siannned.

this sem's timetable so screwed.
gimme sum 4 hrs
but if i work on thu,
i can hav enuf sleep on fri since fri late class.
THEN I WUN BE LATE FOR FRI CLASS ALR!!!
summore no gems. HAHAHAHA!
song bo?

HAHAAHAHA!
siao liao~ no excuse pon sch. =p
haiz.

a new sch term.
i dunno wat to expect anymore.
my confidence and my competency lvl failed me so many times dat im startin to doubt whether i've made e wrong choice coming to SP.

im not gonna blame it on other factors alr.
yes. i dun feel lyk chiong study anymore.
i dun wanna be sum smart ass anymore. (not dat i was one b4 though)
SIAN.
wat hopes wat dreams?
all are bullshit.
there are factors determining who u are destined to be.
sum things juz dun work out no matter hw hard i work.

lyk dance. dats my worse mistake, made my sec sch life so miserable.
why i e 1st place i wasnt able to quit it in sec 1?
coz i not strong enuf.
and i paid it off wif my 4 yrs.
and now i dun bare to quit my work either.
although its causing me distress and unhappiness.

but as i see though new Philipinos who havfta work for 11 hrs perday, 6 days per week,
OMG.
i feel im still luckier then them.
if i havtu work 11 hrs, 6 days work week......
I GO DIE.

haha.
anyway,if i cant achieve wat i aim, all e hopes and dreams are bullshit.
immature? haha yes.
i am.

ah ma really like children alot.
everytime got ang moh kids come our shop she sure go say hi.
haha.
den i will go ask her go give birth.
and she say she wan 1 soccer team.
LOL. soccer team sio.

mayb dats wat older ppl think: FAMILY.
haha. im definitely not mature enuf to understand all this la.
i dun see the very importance of it to me.
all im concern wif is to be able to stand and support my own.
and hw to make my life go as smooth as possible jiu hao le.
dun dare think about wat everything else.
hahah.

insecurities at work maybe.

soon, v soon, my JC peeps will b going to university v soon.
sumhw i abit regret not going JC now.
=X mayb...
my life will be soo damn much easier.
i no need to work, and juz concentrate on chiong-ing studies.
and e sch fees so cheap there, dun even havtu care.
and can hav enuf to university also mayb.

haiz.
coming to poly, met so many ppl, experience so many things, see so many pattern.
ok la. at least, my life skills are better?

u ask me wat is life skill?
dats juz sumthing i came up wif not so long ago.
haha.

my life. v different from last time.
i regret why i never treasure my time last time.
its so simple, so relaxed.
yet i make myself stressed up over shitty things.

now, my life are no longer totally under my control.
im juz floating with the currents of events.
trying to face everyday optimistically.
but at the end of e day it always failed.

the tears still fall.

haha.
btw, lao niang having fever right now.
so erm.
please reduce the emo-ness of this post by 25%.
the heat juz made my thoughts sound screwed.
=]

OH YA BTW
HAPPY 3RD MONTH DEAR.
HAHA! =]

rethink.

2010-10-05T01:41:00.002+08:00

i tink i fail as a 7 pointer student.
LOL.

results were out and.
it sucked.
well, should hav expected it anyway.

but im still. disappointed.

a low GPA.
wa sian.
sian X 100.

i swear i worked harder den last term!
mayb not hard enuf.

mayb i pon too much lecture.

mayb benny's right.
>_<

argh.

i duuno.
felt like a total loser now.
LOL.

muz be more serious in sem 2 alr.
i cant giv up my uni, as of yet.
=/
even though i may not hav e $$ to study uni.
haiz.
being able to qualify for it is always better right.

i hope i will find e answer to why im not doing good in sch .
SOON.

who stole my holiday?

2010-10-03T23:10:00.001+08:00

the fucking fact is that i cried so many times while watching d grey man.
LOL.
e plot is just so horrbile yet addictive and yet touching!
i cant not cry!
=(

really!
muz watch if you hav time~!
e drawing nice also.
i wonder why i never go watch it since its a rather old anime and quite famous also.

haiz.
back to my miserable life.
work always make me miserable.
nw i really wonder if i should continue working.even though ive complained so many times, sum,how i will still go work.
coz i no money.
no choice.

now is 3rd week of holiday alr.
i had barely enjoyed myself,
wats so wrong wif my life?

i had been called back to work several times.
2moro included.
ive been working since fri, plus 2moro and tue.
FML.

ppl will say got money earn still dun wan.
LOL. yea. when work starts to invade ur personal life and affects ur mood
u see whether u still like to earn money e same way not.

i hate it when they everytime ask me to work extra.
1st they start wif dragging ur time , end up u are released ltr then when u shld be.
den they start to ask u to work on other days, whenever u are not marked down on schedule.
then they ask you to go help them.
even though obviously i said im not freaking free.
who do they take me for?

a free and easy little girl with nothin to do in holidays?
puhlease. i got fucking lotsa things to do.
of course they wunldnt understand this feeling of mine.
coz its not their freetime ma.
all they noe is now im havin g my sch holiday.
so i should go shop help as much as possible.

i got my life ok?
dats wat i really wanna shout at them.
but. i dun really hav e authority to do so.

plus, being them, they would find every other reasons to shoot (try to reason) wif you until you bo way gong.
lyk wat den u off day i no need off day ?
since u no sch why u dun wan work? (giv u 1 defiant face)
help me la, i really no ppl.

so shop no ppl is my fault la?
zzzzz.
so fed up sumtimes.

someday i will make them so paiseh that they will feel guilty .
i hate the shop and its whole planning.

FML once agn.

and my menses finally stopped.
after coming continuously for 26 days.
imagine hw many pads i've used.

and i hav to wake up so fuckin early @ 5am 2moro just to go shop help for 2 freaking hrs and go home.
fuck the shop.

誕生日おめでとう

2010-09-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

happy 18th to Mandy Chan.

18. finally.
stepping into a new era of lesser government restrictions.
an age of official lady.

a symbolic age of youth.

LOL.

say goodbye to the muddled year of 17, the rather confusing yr of 17.
the moulding year of 17.
many things hav changed, and i'll take em all in.

2day ben lai decided to go Escape with benny.
GUESS WHAT? IT DOENT OPEN ON WEEKDAYS!!!
OMG. ITS A WEEKEND AND SCHOOL HOLIDAY ONLY.
WTF~! AND WE RAN ALL E WAY TO PASIR RIS. lol！
cute much? = . =

i just cant help but feeling damn disappointed.
dunno whether to actually blame benny or myself for not checking properly.
haha.

we ended up walking all over white sands, the 3 malls in Tampines and even Simei.
T_T
end up we so tired dat we slept almost all e way back from pasir ris to jurong.
LOL.
can slim my legs. = =

summore i still hav to rush to work in e morning coz of staff shortage.
=<
only a few will actually understand the irritating feeling of having to work on ur birthday.
mayb its not such a big thing to them but i tink its a rather big thing for me. =<

i just want things to go nicely.
haiz.
why everytime things cock up for me?
and i dun think its my fault most of e time.
watever. im gonna think more maturely.

i gonna stop taking things to heart and live more freely.
this skill muz learn frm benny alr.
he everything also ‘TAKE IT EASY" de. HAHA.
right dear? LOL

2day finally got our couple ring.
LOL.
even though its simple, even though its not of gold, even though its not really expensive.....
BUT I STILL LOVE IT! =]
and of course i love e owner of the other half of e ring also.
=D

omg I WANNA GO ESCAPE!!!
BRING ME TO ESCAPE!!!!

I JUS WANNA HAV SUM FUN! WITH EVERYONE.
HAHA!

and i hope terrible things will be left behind in my 17th yr.
=]

5th empty

2010-09-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

sometimes ppl just have alot on their minds.
like me. who start thinking of everything under the sun and mood once i hav nothing to do and yet havtu stay at home.
haha. i tink of this, think of that.
some of them went as predicted, some never happened.

i didnt know my intuitions are so accurate sometimes.
haha.
time and time agn, it proved to me that they are correct.
only im e one who refuse to accept and act upon it.
=]

dumb dumb rite?

sometimes i pray hard dat those bad intuition wun ever came thru.
=]
im trying hard to! at least. to prevent it from coming thru.
but who will see my efforts and who actually understand my thoughts?
i can only try to smile to myself when things happen.
coz it alr happened. in my mind. rite?hahaha!

of course no one is to blame.
coz all those so called "predictions" never actually came out from the damn mouth of mine.
so unless their are mind readers, of course they wunldt noe.

friends.
what a cheem word indeed!
i dun dare say dat i hav seen alot of types of friends.
coz my social circle isnt v big u see.
but also because of its smaller size, at least, i can make an effort to understand them. one by one.
haha.
so far so good huh?
=]

but i do noe dat sometimes i take things abit too seriously.
especially with those whom i care.
dats why i keep thinking in the day, and im having all sorts of dreams in the night.
and end up they doesnt weigh the matter the same way as i did.

haha. humans are such a complicated lot.
of course, im by no means superior.
thinking so god damn much doesnt make me happier too.
it only drains me slowly.

yet i cant seem to stop.
coz im afraid dat if one day i stopped, i will start doing stupid things.and regret.

lyk how im regreting some stupid actions of mine in the past years.
=]

its so hard to continue believing in one's thinking.
when it clashes with ppl.
i always believed that i should not concern myself with ppl.
to try not owe them relations.
so that i wun become some kind of a burden.
theoretically, its correct doesnt it?

why ppl still wun understand, and still dun appreciate?

it'll make those little sacrifices in vain.
and when they go in vain, ppl get frustrated and angry, and blame.
and think: why should i think and do so much when this is how they thought in the end?

hahaha.
mayb to sink into anime is afterall a happier choice.
coz the characters and their doings.
all goes by the plot, by the plan.

its sensible.

i miss you.

2010-09-22T15:47:00.005+08:00

baby i miss you so much.
HAHA. =/
come back soon.

anyway. i hope i wun; and i dun want, to become some stupid bitch who will go crazy without a bf.
so im gonna make full use of my time and regain my spirit as an independent woman. LOL!
sounds weird though. o-0

was doing my hitman reborn 1000 piece puzzle.
hmmm..
i sorta play cheat and use e alphabets behind insteead. =p
paiseh la. im nt dat sort which have alot of patience. LOL.
hmmmm. now i just hav to finish up this puzzle and wait for benny to bring me a frame. HAHA!
btw, any1 got lobang where i can buy cheap frame?
puzzle size is 70 X 75.
hmmm.

my blog counter keep jumping but my tag is not.
LOL. i guess ppl, or ppl who put ads in tagboards, do come occasionally.

now its raining so heavily outside, making my whole house gloomy.
the hip music which im blasting isnt really doing its job of creating a cheerful ambience.

some ppl still made me laugh.
especially those who likes to hang on to the past.
or being so critical of random ppl's doings
haha. no no, nothings wrong wif dat. its mostly based on personal preferences anyway~
just that i think if ppl can move on they will be happier. =]
why act one philosopher when those ppl doesnt even concerns you? LOL.
and now im being one such person myself. HAHAHA~

was so bored and tried to do 蛋饼。
all those silly recipes. = =
they got so much difference between them even though all are describing hw to make e same thing, dat i cant decide which to follow.
finally, i decided to trust my instinct and...
FAILURE MUCH?! >___<|||
PRODUCT FAIL. end of story.

ytd went out to meet serene to go relax..
haiz. dat poor girl was so sian because of menses. =/
and mine?
thanks to the hormone med, it DIDNT STOP.
YES. IT IS COMING FOR 3 WHOLE WEEKS AND NOW STILL.
now i think i noe why everytime ppl say i look tired.
HAHA.
good thing bad thing? hmmm.

before:

after:

LOLS. not much of a change. except im wearing new dress and new headband.

and bought a new perfume for $49.
HAIZ.

i cant spend wisely i admit.

dats some strong orange skin isnt it! still can hold e orange! 0-0

haiz,
寂寞难耐。
i think i need to go library alr. LOL.

and i cant bring myself to continue maple anymore.
im quite tired abt having to chiong e lvl. LOL
v hard to train leh!

the EXAMS AFTER.

2010-09-19T00:08:00.004+08:00

woo hoo!!!
ppl!!!! no more books, no more boring texts, no more sad life at home!!!
its play! fun! enjoy~! HAHA! relax!

but im tired. LOL!
my body aching whenever i working @ BT. i dunno why also.
HAIZ.

anyway, woa finally went to Sentosa. for e 2nd time in my life. =o=
pathetic rite!!!
tsk. i noe i noe.
mandy who look lyk sum _______ is actually a country bumpkin lai de.
dun expect too much from her ma!
LOL!

i jus lyk going out wif e class!!
its so much fun hanging ard them.
HAHA!
muz go out more!

wa v tired. see pictures 1st.

sorry i ate too much. so in a daze.LOL

erm.... bolly wood version ???

he more hiao den me rite!! =o=

i tink his man boobs are bigger den my normal boobs. T_T

anyway.
dear will be going away to msia this few days.
so i hav freedom for this few days...
HAHAH!!! =p
no la. haiz. sian.

today went out wif him after work.
go orchard central walk walk. woa. quite big siol!!!
den e escalator at e top lvl damn long!
i got height phobia la!
= =

when look down i shivered.LOL!
damn high la! e base of e escalator alr at a high storey lvl.
den e escalator still so long!!!
woa.
machaim will fall down.
dat stupid benny also nothing better.
still purposely wanna act pushing me down.
zzzzzzzz!

i will miss him though. even though its jus few days.
=/
LOL.

hmmm..
dats for now bah.
body dead alr!

happy birthday! Papa!

2010-09-14T11:30:00.003+08:00

Despite him being an old man, getting more naggy and such....
haha. at least he is not at all demanding. =]
thanks for tolerating me and alot of ways....
even though i never said all this to you. and i never will. HAHA.
Happy birthday~

ytd was...LOL. swollen day.
my whole face was lyk POOM. OMG.
den im totally quite knocked out.
haha.
anyway. i tink i grew fat ALOT ALOT.
and nowadays when ppl see me, they say, why u look so tired? why u fatten alr? why u so shag? are u ok? u bloated?

woa sia. jitao negative attack.
LOLS.
i dunno. mayb is the medication.
and exams.
i swear after everything im gonna exercise!
i haven been excercising for a long time.
whenever i go work, my body will ache at e end of e day.
dats hw weak my body is!

i feel lyk an old women.

my mama ask me why im soo tired. at night dun wan sleep, morning still wake up so early. and look so sian everyday.
haha. i dunno...mayb i really feel sian bah.
i feel moody, sad, vexed, irritated, uncontented, worried, scared, disappointed, lethargic!!
HAHA.
god bless me.

ytd was eating this when studying....
i almost took a bite when i saw this:

HAHA!
ACTIVE AT NIGHT;
BEWARE OF LIES.

wa sia la. i eat 1 snack also got reminders. LOL!
den i realise got alot....T_T ps. xiiao noob,

my face swollen rite!!!!
damn shit.
wats happening to me.

HAHHAA.
mayb i will die soon.
LOL!

nothing but something.

2010-09-13T14:37:00.003+08:00

had been working for e past 3 days.
tired.
and im supposed to wake up at 9 today, yet i woke up only at 12. haha.

really admired those who are enjoying out there.

mayb its better off not to noe anything then to noe somethings. =]

he made me realize i hav a really pessimistic way of thinking.
my emotionals often go haywire because my thoughts often gone to the worst.

and i noe he has a way too optimistic way of thinking.
mayb im too used to preparing myself for the worst. coz i hate emotional shock.
mayb he just doesnt mind getting emotional shock.

mayb i should learn to b more optimistic in a sense.

anyway. i have nothing left to say, so dats all for this post. =]

lost.

2010-09-09T20:58:00.004+08:00

2 more exams- MR and QANL.
fma sucks.
ssm sucks.

im a loser.

haha.
had a hard time accepting, but yea.
i dunno why.
mayb i really didnt study hard enuf.
no. cfm is i didnt study hard enuf.

dear, sorry for hitting you all e time.
although all my reasons are nt really nice reasons.
sort of lame. but... i juz cant help it coz we had always been lyk dat.
i guess i will hav to jus stop doing that. =]
coz it seems to make u really upset.
hahaha.

starting to lyk YUI.
haha. she's really chio though! big bright eyes, angled face. lively girl! ^^
dl 3 of her albums... hehe.
hav a sudden need for lively, cheerful songs. if not im really gonna wilt. =/

now i tink i abit understand why ky and yc are being such a HUGE fanboy of hers. =]

hmm. i hav a dilemma.
if i dun on e fan, i will dat e air is not fresh.
if i on e fan, even if its on power 1, i will feel cold.
not trying to sound pathetic here but lao niang having jus a slight fever.
haha. now i hav a reason to erm. slack abit.
headache is coming and i dunno wat to do.
tried to hav a slight nap but the slight chill is keeping me awake, goosebumps keep coming.

at times, im so disappointed wif myself.
at times, i just have myself to blame.
MOST of the time, i guess im just frustrated wif myself.
haha. yada yada, finding lame excuses agn.

i tink i better go study for QANL.
will be working for the nxt few days.
TOTALLY dun feel lyk working.
but i cant take a break anymore. it has been 2 weeks.
and wat hav i been doing for the past 2 weeks?
chionging reborn instead of exams.
but u noe wat? i dun hav regret coz dat anime brighten up my life so much. =]

lambo san daisuki! ^^

sumtimes. i juz wish i had the same passion in studies as the past.
wif that kinda passion. cfm wun make myself CMI.
lyk dat.

i tink i need to face e wall and 面壁思过。

没有一件事做得好。这又是谁的错？

mnet: 2008 MKMF DBSK

2010-09-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

i miss DBSK....T_T

come back soon! =/

still at home.

2010-09-05T13:17:00.003+08:00

i wanted to sit down and study.
i really wanted to.
but sumhow my hand went on to press e power button of my laptop which was infront of my bed.
and.....
4 hrs gone.

haiz.
i wonder hw u all do it.

yaoi is still the best thing in the world.
haha.
my desired pairing:

yamamoto & gokudera
chrome & mukuro
dino and hibari
and of course reborn and lambo.
lol. ken and chikusa mayb?

haiz.
im afterall, juz a fangirl. =x

yamamoto & gokudera

reborn and lambo.

5 yr old Lambo!!!!! heehee! i waanna hug him!!
and shave his afro head. LOL. XD

....... .....
enough of that craziness.
i feel guilty of this craziness.
everytime during exam period, i always get myself stuck in various animes. and LONG animes.

last time i remember was Saiyungoku Monogatari. 2 freaking seasons wif erm issit it 80 ep i forgot.
i juz stayed in my room e whole time switching between anime and revision.

AND OBVIOUSLY THAT WASNT HELPING ME VERY MUCH IN EXAMS.

and i observed dat recently alot of ppl on msn like to use only single word nicks huh?

latest trend? it made my nick seems extra AA though. =/

saw this on SOLF's blog.
nice phrase, and awfully true.

i tink im throwing tantrums nowadays.
i get irritated really easily.
but i dun wanna be burden to ppl around me.
i tink my parents got e most effect.
i didnt wantu eat with them coz i wanna watch anime (not that i ever eat wif them also)
my mom was hinting me to sit down and eat with them but i refused.
wats e point man. LOL.

maybe is PMS.
but im stressed. i just want this period to past by.
i havto keep forcing myself to study.
and i cant focus.

conclusion: i really hate staying at home. i will become restless and irritable.

2010-09-04T00:41:00.002+08:00

i think coffee is making me restless and bitchy.
i feel lyk biting ppl's head off.

i tink e antibiotics is giving me skin allergy.

i tink others are leading a way better life den me.
well. i knew dat long time ago though.

i had 3 cups of coffee.
and i totally have no problem in sleeping properly.
wats wrong with me.
i think if the world ever runs out of coffee
i will be e 1st one to die.

in other words, confiscate coffee and i will commit suicide for you.

anyway, im blabbling nonsense abt coffee coz i find it so hard to keep studying.
i wonder hw i did it in the past.
its a miracle dat i can do it for around 10 yrs.

im slowly becoming an emotional wreck inside.
exams? maybe.

i can only go outside to play in my dreams.
hw fucking pathetic is that?

i know i know. everybody is like that TOO.
but staying in e house, especially in my room, gives me creeps.

now mayb sum lambo will make me smile.

if 1 day u ever stop doing things that i will like;
i tink, i will need a fucking long time to heal.

Lambo Daisuki!

2010-09-03T12:30:00.003+08:00

i tink im crazy over Lambo.
HAHA! hw can anyone resist this cutie? (damo-neh~ ^^)
now my sms tone is his cute little song.MUAHAHA.
but erm. abit embarassing in train leh. ahaha! =x

anyway. i slept lyk e pig ytd.
after all the torment since wed night.
haha!
ok let me summarise abit..

WED

SSM test.(totally traumatizing i tell you. i hate Andrew for going around, telling students its an easy paper when it is so fucking time-depriving and easy..NOT! >_<) cheat my feelings.
RWPS rehearse. ( ....)
feeling drained by the hot sun...really HOT nowadays! OMG> i hate that sticky feelings.
den my mood went down. (many reasons)
den watched Tsunami video and got pranked by sum stupid fucker when e monster popped out suddenly. i swear i wun ever watch e videos agn no matter hw curious i am. NO! =/
my new wireless MIO modem got delivered and er... got a bit problem when installing. HAHA! benny was of 10% help niaaa~~~ ok la. 25%. = =
sweated lyk mad coz i try to fix my house e electricity socket but i damn scared i got electricuted.T_T i only dared to unscrew and bring out e cover..den i got scared and screw e thing back. T____T!!!
rehearsed very hard for RWPS and tried to handle Gems as well. sibei tired.
sleept for 4 hrs before waking up on Thu.

THU

early in the morning come one GEMS test. woa. still forgot bring calculator.DAMN PAISEH.
then go Mac eat. and im sweating lyk mad in my white collar tee. and im wearing a black bra ytd. HAIZ. epic fail.
den got really moody when sum1 refused to rehearse properly.
and was pratically drowned in worries when RWPS started.
was trying to pray that all go well for dat presentation. coz i tink i too long never present le. so...erm. that feeling was terrible. zhibai and i keep breakin into sweaty palms.
and my dear mentioned my slimming tea experience during HIS presentation. GAH. dat was some level of humiliation. T_______T thought of punishing him ltr.
luckily my presentation was sort of ok except the Q&A. T^T
Mrs Delonix treated Canadian Pizza! super unexpected.

serene: u think we should eat e pizza?
me: er...i dun dare to......
serene: would u change ur mindset about Delonix since she treats u pizza?
me: of course not!!! u so easily tio bribed ar? jus by a pizza?! = =
several minutes ltr.....
me and serene: *grabs pizza slices* THANK YOU TEACHER!!! ^^
...... ......
dragged benny to causeway point wif me. HEHE (planned a punishment)
forced him to ride e violent stimulator in e Arcade in timezone.
GOD HE ACTUALLY LIKES IT. T_T i tot only i liked this kinda thing.
Punishment Failed. nah. at least he PAYS for the ride. HAHAHAHA!
got abit giddy and we went home soon after. LOL.
too tired. slept on e bed right after i reached home.(1/2 hour)
bathed and watched Reborn until 8pm.
SLEPT lyk a pig (8-12pm)
den wake up and watched 2 ep of Reborn and sleep agn @ 2am.

CONCLUSION: i am really a pig on 2nd Sep 2010.

T___________T

random picture posts agn...

sorry. epic failed. =/

sorry. i posted this is because serene looked nice. PLS AUTO CENSOR ME. T_T

water reflection. so clear!

an old old piece of quote given to us in Sec 4 by our teacher just before we went for our O'lvl.

summary of my life.

i emphasize agn: I LURVE YAOI!

if u, lyk my dear, who dunnoe wat is Yaoi. pls google it urself.
Yaoi is such a magnificent culture which couldnt be explained jus by my words.
HAHAHAHA! ^^

ciaossu!

2010-08-31T00:19:00.001+08:00

OK I THINK I GONNA **** MYSELF.

I FUCKING FAILED MY LAB TEST!!!!!!!

I DUNNO HW TO REACT ACTUALLY.

COZ IM NT REALLY SAD.

BUT I SHOULD BE RIGHT?

GOTTA. BE. CALM. *LAMBO*

headache!! i want more $$ !!!!

2010-08-29T11:28:00.002+08:00

ahaha...
http://www.wisebread.com/ made me so guilty for nt saving or budgeting my expenses.

now didnt i juz do budgeting for FMA last night?

>_<
im depressed to see my bursary wither away bit by bit.
and even sadder think dat my pay is gone within 2 weeks.
withdrawal is becoming a traumatic experience everytime i go near the ATM machine.
HAIZ.

GAH. i gotta learn sum ways to save my money now.
if not.
i will still end up and regret.
lyk how those thousands had just flew away when im working full time.
T__________________T
i cant believe i just spent lyk $3000+ in 2 mths.LOL. T_T

well. dat was last time anyway.
=/

still waiting for zhibai to get her bursary so dat we can enjoy life tgt. LOLS!

up on the roller coaster ride.

2010-08-29T03:01:00.003+08:00

i went down ytd.
cried lyk fuck. bawl lyk a bitch.
but. at least i've spent all those pent up emotions.

hmmmm. feeling 10% better.

i cant really remember wat i said to benny ytd nite.
i hope i wasnt stuttering nonsense.
ahaha.
i wasnt really drunk. juz dat i wasnt in e right set of mind.
LOL.

and shyna thanks for ur concern!
i feel ur warmth. =] and dat made me smile.
and made me wonder, wat kind of friends i had a few yrs ago.

and i laughed. (warning: sacarsm. for those denser ppl.)

today stayed up to 3am.
cant really sleep.
haha..

but now i tink i gotta sleep soon.

eh dear can u live lyk a normal human instead of lyk a vampire?
= =
who sleeps @ 4am and wakes up @ 2pm anyway?!
pfftt.
stop screwing up ur body clock larh.
coz mine's gonna get screwed up too.

hungry?
me too.

sumday im gonna stuff myself lyk a pig in any sushi shop.
so dat i wun even regret stepping out of e shop.
= =

monkey peeing in his own mouth

2010-08-28T12:50:00.001+08:00

Male cat showing off his dominance

2010-08-28T12:50:00.000+08:00

Angry Cat betrayed by her Lover lol

2010-08-28T12:29:00.000+08:00

SOOOOOO FUNCKING FUNNY!!!!
thanks to shyna for showing me this!
LMAO LAUGHED LYK SHIT!

discomfort.

2010-08-28T00:16:00.002+08:00

mayb today is one of those emo nights.
mayb today is one of those emotionally unbalanced nite.

honestly, it has been quite sometime since i felt lyk this.
i wun say the reasons why.

i wun.
becoz im starting to regret some of the promises i've made.
its all down to my own fucking mistakes in my theory.

right now i dun even bother to choke up some excuses for my mistakes.
i shall juz admit dat im silly to think of things so simply, so easily.
im so fucking dumb such dat i brought so much emotions upon myself.

mayb right now im nt seeing e whole picture.
mayb right now im making a new mistake in typing this post.
mayb im juz an emo sensitive kid wif nothing better to do then to feel all those lame feelings and having those lame thoughts.

tonight i shall finish up another bottle of 8% alcohol.
tonight, i will enjoy typing smiley faces and haha wif tears on my face.

tonight i will .
haha. im so twisted. =D

100 things you didn't know (facts)

2010-08-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

Time is running!

2010-08-26T14:18:00.004+08:00

today
i looked at my calendar and to my horror
IM SO LAGGED IN MY STUDY PLANS!!!

i keep thinking today is wed.
T_T
ARGH.
my revision for Calculus, mr and fma are missed. >_<

damn. and nw i feel so helpless.
aaaaa!

i guess off-ing my computer is the only option now.....T_T

The Dangers of Being a Television News Reporter

2010-08-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

i dread RWPS ppt. =/

2010-08-25T20:02:00.004+08:00

dun feel lyk preparing for it!
really!
god.

sumtimes i juz feel tired.
HAIZ!
i guess this is nt e 1st time pl hear me say this.
but i really dunno why.
whever im in my room, i juz feel lyk sleeping.

sian ttm.

i juz wish e exams can pass by faster so dat i can really go out play!
i wanna go Escape de leh!
and live my life lyk a teenager.
LOL!
and i wanna go Kbox ton, sing until i fall asleep; ( although this mon juz went...=X)
i wanna go play candles wif my friends;
i wanna chat wif them all night, abt random things.
i wanna go chalet wif them;
go shopping;
go eat nice food;
see shuai ge;
go walk all e malls;
go watch movie.
juz chill out wif friends!

AIYAH. i want everything fun!

instead of cooping myself up in this little room
wif salonpas pasted on my shoulders.
so sad rite?!
17 yr old using salonpas.
AIYOH.....
T^T

recently i cant find much entertainment wif my lappie anymore.
facebook has nothing much.
except using it to play billard wif benny,
play bejeweled, play pool master, do sum stupid quizzes and go spam other ppl's wall....
koreanpop updates dun hav alot also....
my blog? HAIZ. nobody wanna tag.
SAD.

but i know you guys are still reading rite! =3

den go msn also....nothing much.
play minesweeper wif shynana,
chat wif ppl....

also dun really hav e mood to blogshop coz...
nt my size. T_T

my body got all e proportion wrong.
T_T
dammit.
HAIZ.

and im so sick of my songs.....
T___T
so sian alr la!
same tunes......
same voice.
same chorus.
wa sia.

sian....
zzzzzzzz.
and i've stopped my breadtalk for this coming 2 weeks to focus on exams.
woa. BIG SAcrifice siol!
1 hr $5.5
1 day: 6X 5.5=$33
1 week=3 days= $99
2 weeks= $99 X 2= $198.

T_________T

i regret doing this calculation.

HAIZ.
so unmotivated to do anything.
WHY?!

coz i juz wanna play.
T_T

supersonic bionic energy? NONE.

2010-08-22T23:12:00.003+08:00

so exhausted. so tired.
two 8am shifts in a row.
and both i hav to guide those newbies in everything.
i hav to admit my patience lvl is low.
and since i hav flu, im practically a walking sniffing machine.

and i seriously worry dat wat if those customers have JIE PI and complains abt by flu?
hmmm.

anyway
my head is in a mess and honestly speaking, i cant really focus nor hear clearly.
lee peng havtu repeat stuffs serveral times untill she also pek chek.
LOL! sorry~! >_<

basically i operated in an auto pilot mode.
im really impressed wif myself for being able to figure out the maths when dat xiiao blur new cashier freak out and keep keying wrong keys and i hav to do mental calculations in advance . (during long queue)

Whew~ (wipe sweat = =)

i juz keyed in watever bread i see on e tray packed and repeat those same questions.
and once in a while, my machine get stucked.
AND THIS STUPID OLD FAGGOT UNCLE SUAN ME, SAY WAT I TALK TOO MUCH DURING WORK AND NEVER FOCUS. DATS WHY CANNT SEE THE NONEY WHICH HE HAD ANYHOW DUMPED ON E CASHIER.

i purposely wanted him to pick up dat $5 note and give it to me.
i dun lyk ppl throwing money on e cashier and expect me to wat? take it and thank them for it?! FML.
den he come say such things to me.
HW DARE HE.

i see myself stupid for getting affected by these faggots but. i just cant get over these.
its in my blood to fret over such little things i guess.
HAHA. =/

woh. 2moro hav qanl tutorial.
i miss zhibai shyna they all so much!!!
dunno what they doing 2moro.

below are juz some random photos. ^^

taken duing my mom's bdae.LOL! damn long ago. july 2nd.

oh ya. this ducky vacuum.HEHE!
suck all those dirts away!
but nt very powerful i muz say.
my hair still suck halfway nia.
LOL!

i get thirsty very easily today.
i wonder why.
i drank quite alot of water though.

and i burned my tongue today while eating sliced fish soup.
coz i sorta havtu rush thru my break time and e soup so fucking hot.
and i hav to sniff to suck my mucus back to my nose.
and my mouth sort of followed and suck e hot soup tgt.

tragedy arrrrrr~~~~~

tired tired sibei tired.
i tink my brain gave up on fuctioning properly.

i tink im gonna hav an early night.

and i tink i hav ben complaning abt customers alot theese days.

Kim Hyun Joong 장난스런KISS Teaser

2010-08-19T21:54:00.000+08:00

OMGGG!!!! kim joong hyun!!
woa fainted.

another day at home.

2010-08-19T13:26:00.006+08:00

a few moments ago i had tons to blog about.
but now i suddenly forget.
abt wat to blog abt.

=/

hmmm. firstly, i tink im obsessed wif cats.
LOL. those who had seen my msn dp should also fall in love wif cats!
they are soo fucking cute!
hw can u resist them even?! ^o^
i decided dat i will raise a cat. in future. i heart cats!

haven had the chance to go out play.
forget it.
i gave up.
i've wasted too much time to play.
because im sick, i hav to stay at home.
and i cant really study coz e flu isnt making me anymore focused.

neither can i go excercise coz i scared i cannt breathe properly and im afraid of losing myself in sweat and mucus in the park. (EW >_<) i can only stay at home and see myself getting fatter and fatter. in e 1st place where does these freaking fats come abt?! ....... hav been shitting 2-3 times 2dae coz i drank diet tea ytd. I JUZ FUCKING WISH I CAN JUZ SHIT OUT THOSE FATS. i dun care if my skin sag from all those sudden loss of fats watsoever. i jus wish those flabs leave my body. =/ yea. wish nia. they dun seem to wantu listen to me. i hate myself for being so helpless at fats. and sumtimes i juz wish i had sum emotional problems to kill my appetite and den i wun eat. (nt dat i dun hav problems. but they are juz nw serious enuf to kill my appetite.YET.) but wif my mama at home dats quite IMPOSSIBLE. coz she will ask and ask and ask. and i will BTH her nagging and eat. EAT. how i hate the word.

on a brighter note, i hav all e time to myself at home. even though i fucking wasted them (my efficiency and motivation really sucks. to core.) waste my time thru the following:

watching Betrayal Knows My Name
watching The M Riders (=.=)
blog-hopping (stalker wannabe. XP)
flowerpod forum
hard-ware forum
still watching Betrayal Knows My Name = =
chatting wif benny
searching for nice pictures
facebook
facebook
facebook (bejeweled)
waiting for coffee to cool
lying on e bed, feeling giddy frm stupid headache
fever and trying nt to waste so much tissue on mucus.
watching gay ~~porn~~ anime

ETC.

1 hr plus ltr...
back from random chatting wif benny.
HAIZ.

ytd benny showed me a video of a girl tio raped.
so fucking disgusting. literally bloody hell. OMG
and dat guy shaved his cock.
and the (innocent) me took his cock as finger.
SO PAISEH. >_<||| woh. really. sibei bloody.
anybody who wanna see can get from benny. = =
he said he got 3 of such videos. who knows his junior is so resouceful? = =
i rather watch my gay sex. i juz cannt take heterosexual epics.
GAH. mayb i gt mental issues.LOL

i hate dreaming about her. AGAIN. despite so long.
i STILL dreamt abt her. wat does she know?
she knows nothing, other den locking herself up in her own conceited world of little barbie and ken. = = y my mind even do this kind of charity work lyk sparin her sum thoughts. zzzzzzz.
brain, stop it. u aint going no where wif this.
i am SO NOT gonna do anything abt it. i wun even talk to her abt it.

thats it.

anyway, found sum meanningful pictures. hehe.
my hardwork paid off i guess?
these pictures cheered up my day!
i hav alot more, but i decided to release it a little at a time thru my posts.

OF COURSE, CREDITS ARE NOT MINE. PHOTO COURTESY TO THEIR RESPECTIVE AUTHORS. =]

damn meaningful! wed thu fri.= WTF LOLS!

oh this is mine. the evidence of my mid-night snack: choco bar. =x

so creative! i wish to try it wif my friends on e beach some time!

HAHA! the egg and the sperm.
i wonder does e spoon comes in this form or it was purposely bent. XD

and i guess this has been my holiday plan.
T^T
sad life?
yea, i tink so too.

i was updating my organiser juz nw when im shittting.
woah.
i casted it aside since mid june.
and freaking lotsa things hav happened.
now dat my organiser has been updated,
god pls motivate me to study. NOW.
LOL.

and i hope zhibai babe can recover.
faster.
i miss her. =/

where has all those Vit C gone?

2010-08-17T12:44:00.002+08:00

wanted to take a glimpse of e kite but...sumhow e picture doesnt end up quite well...

HAIZ.
ytd was horrible.
my head was throbbing lyk fuck.
and my throat joined in on strike. =/
totally felt lyk a pig.
coz i woke up, ate, sleep. woke up agn, eat agn, and sleep agn. and repeat ...
T^T

i hate this body of mine.
sumhw, the antibodies in my body is damn weak. and damn useless.
I HATE IT!
zzzzz.

haven started on catcing up sch work yet.
procrastination got me. HARD. >_<
and i cant seem to get e "feel" of working hard.
LOL.
last sem was horrible.
OH. i shiver whenever i thought abt school last sem.
hectic, busy, sleepless, vexing, chasing, worrying, sick etc.
GAAAH.

no dat i wasnt sick now...
= =

my rubbish bin in my room.
hah. i tink now my room is infested wif germs and bacteria.
>_<

and my mom was so funny.
she actually asked me to sniff vinegar to help me unblock my nose.
OMG. she actually believed this remedy.
LOL!
i sniffed it in order nt to insult her. =x
and now i scared my room got vinegar smell.
EW.

now where is dat can of air freshener? >_<

and my breakfast today: french toast. ^^

i still remember i promised zhibai last yr dati would make 1 for her.
untill now still haven accomplish dat....... >_<
paiseh uh. now u gt ur gab to make breakfast for u liao ma.
doesnt need me anymore. =3
right?

i jus wish time will stop now.
coz i juz cant seem to get enough of holidays.
not dat its actually holidays....
and nt dat i will EVER get enuf of holidays..

but you know... just complaining.
for complaining is the art of S'poreans.
hoho.

no matter what.

2010-08-16T00:20:00.002+08:00

my mood now is just as gloomy as this.

ive fallen sick agn.
and i dun noe why.
i've been drinking Vit C almost everyday!
so irritating.
no use? dun tell me ive wasted my money. yet agn.

i discovered dat i lost my wallet this morning,
only to realise dat i left my wallet in e shop ytd.
almost freaked me out. im on e verge of tears on train this morn.
i cant imagine all my bursary money gone wif juz this silly mistake.
yet i havtu keep telling myself to chill and think carefully where could it be.
my mom was so anxious, kept calling to ask me where i left it.
and i looked so gloomy dat an uncle keep turning to look at me
den i glared at him. LOL.

ytd had minor sore throat while doing night shift.
no choice but to hang on.
new comer went home earlier becoz she hav headache.
can i say i wanna go hm too becoz of sore throat?

and after 3 hrs of sleep, went to work morning shift.
2 ppl doing 3 ppl job.
doing repetitive work for 6 hrs.
handled some old fucking bitch(es) who cant seem to get their menopause out of their system and blamed e world for it.

Bitch 1: hey, u gave me wrong change! i know, some of you you may just purposely give me wrong change so that u can keep e change for urself right?

some bitch juz dun understand that i may be younger (sorry huh, is way younger then her), but im nt there to let her insult me.
wat superiority does s'pore give to older women?
she tinks i will do such a thing to cheat her few fucking CENTS.
ITS NT EVEN DOLLARS.

Bitch 2:
she didnt want e bread and didnt bother to tell me until i gave her e receipt.
at this point, im having long queue and juz wanted to clear e queue ASAP.
and she juz stands there, act one pitiful and timid, ask her friend to tell me to
tell me this simple thing.
if she tells me this more efficiently i may as well get her e change fast.
zzzz.
end up 1 big round to get her e change and tio nagged by my collegue.

such ppl are juz irritating.
and those stupid customers who dun wan receipts, dun wan bags.
they hav mouths grown properly but dunno hw to speak.
and juz refuse to get e receipt, end up dropping all e coins on e floor.
and who apologises agn? ME.

fuck all stupid, un-automatic customers.

when i snap at you,
doesnt mean i dun wan u here.
it jus meant dat ,
i dun wan to get u hurt by my words,
coz they can get really sharp when im in an awful mood.

and i dunno why but im getting more insecure (sensitive) as days goes by.
especially when my intuitions are getting more and more accurate.

and my nose is dropping.
and i juz banged my head against e wall to bring myself less drowsy.
stupid or wat? = =

Marina barage yoo hoo!

2010-08-12T14:38:00.003+08:00

finally, when im 17, i went to marina barage. =o=
very late rite! >_<

haha.i was totally expecting picnic-ing on grasslands.
but there were shelters! haah. lucky~
but still sibei hot. damn hot.
u sit there nia also hot.
T______T

MENU
hotdogs and crabsticks: xiao neo
Sandwiches : Ying Cong
Drinks : Kuan Yong
Famous Amos : JJ
Tibits :Shynana
Mat (only) : Benny
Grapes and apples : Me

haha.eat oready then they go fly kites~
sumhow nt alot of wind, so cannt really fly much.
and heaven seem to hear my cries..
COZ IT RAINED SO HEAVILY AFTER THAT.LOL!
so cooling!
since there is rain, we cant stay @ e top lvl flying kites...
so we went down and camp outside e cafe.
LOLS.
played indian poker and truth or dare.

for 2 hrs.
......

LOL. =D

den.....force them to finish anything dats left, and went to marina square.
can walk and had Astons for dinner.
woa~ so full!
HAHA.

actually after dinner i abit tired alr, LOL.
dunno is eat too full or played too much.
den walk walk ard e mall.....

then when on e way home,
benny had to rush to buy some things for his mom.
so we rush to J8 instead of going home wif sally and shyna. =x

and.....
i reached home at 10+...
was reeeeally sleepy when i reached home.
so bathed asap, and talked on msn...
even then, i tink im half asleep alr.

and i off9@ 12+.

EARLIEST EVER. LOL!
haiz. i felt lyk wasted e day but.

i tink i slept too much these days. >_<
having 12 hrs of sleep everyday isnt exactly wat im palnning to do this holiday.

and.....
GAH.STILL GOT SO MANY EXAM TO STUDY FOR!

ok before that, photos CREDITS TO SALLY NEO XIAO HUA~! ^^

EPIC FAILED.

i muz force myself to study....
T_______T

and i really wanna play! still! T_T

argue wif you. for dunno hw many times.

2010-08-10T16:22:00.002+08:00

why cant u juz appreciate me more?

today
my dearest mom said i never contribute back to the family.
then tell me, what am i doing for e past 1 year?

and dats AFTER she told me to pay for:

father's b'dae present
my phone bills
lend her $200

WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE WANT REALLY.

i juz sleep in at home for 1 day.
cant she juz spare me from all those nonsense?!

i cant rest?!

cant u let me stay peacefully at home?!

FUCK YOU REALLY.

did you juz said:
im juz spending wat ive earned, so u conclude dat as i nver contribute back to e family?
IS DAT NOT CONTRIBUTION?
wtf i worked so hard and in e end u DENIED ALL OF IT.
U FREAKING DENIED ALL OF IT.
U DENIED ONE WHOLE YEAR OF MY WORK WIF JUZ ONE STUPID SENTENCE OF YOURS.
did u tink dat i deserved to pay for my own living now? this timing? while im still schooling?

did you juz say im e one who always cannt communicate wif you, always jumped angrily when u try to "reason" wif me?

what did u reply when im juz telling you dat working and schooling is so tough and dat other ppl also dun need to suffer lyk dat?
u said: other ppl also didnt spend as much as u, other ppl also never complain bout their home, so dun complain to me abt how hard u are working.
I FELL SO WRONGED. u didnt even wantu hear my worries and complains.
so wats e point of trying to communicate wif you?

e prob is mayb u didnt know, but ur tone of voice is not reasoning, is already accusing.u juz said this and said that, and u expect me to comply to you 100%. did u even giv me a room to tell you hw i feel?
u say until u are e one who is right, who is e "victim" for having to tolerate my 'unreasonable ways"
HONESTLY, u are nt even thinkin of listening to me in e 1st place.

SO WHAT IF U ARE MY MOM REALLY.
DOES IT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BE LYK DAT?
i tot mom are supposed to be loving and patient.

oh yea. mayb my mom just isnt this kind.

now dun blame me for leaving house in future.
i dun like a home when everyday i can predict some kind of stupid arguements whenever im at home for more then 12 hours.

i GIVE UP on trying to communicate wif you.
although i know afterwards i will still try to reason wif you only to argue again.
u are juz so proud and arrogant of ur past for able to work and support urself since young.
and dats because u are nt schooling when u are my age!
i bet u didnt even think of that.
u juz tink i hav no rights to complain coz u came around that way too.
IF I AM ABLE TO WORK FULL TIME I DUN TINK I NEED YOUR POCKET MONEY TOO.

i told you alr, im nt super women.
i cant support you the house and myself wif juz dat freaking $200+ pay.
wat more do you want from me?
i tink if i died den all u hav to pay for is my funeral.
u wantu cut down living expenses right?
actually, u can dun pay for my funeral also.
save it man. it doesnt matter alr IF im alr dead.
IF ONLY.

i hate this cycle.

i hate to type posts talking about u and ur talks.

i juz wish i can one day stuff money on ur face so dat u can shuddup.
and stop arguing wif me about money.

HOLIDAYS!!!!

2010-08-08T22:51:00.005+08:00

finally, holiday is here.

why so late for me?
because there will be no work for me until nxt fri!!yay!
i lurve holidays!!!!
XD

now im feelin relaxed sia!
HAHAHA!

and i finished bad guy.
OMG.
cried lyk fuck for e last 2 episodes.
when gun wook went mentally crazy, it broke my heart to see him lyk dat!
>_<

geekky gurls~

this makeup muz hav close up to 纪念的！

LOL！chun gu do you miss your fringe?

sia la dear i tink u look so much better after hair cut? =3

and the girl who worked hard before YOG break. XD

the main point of this pic is not e chiobu but the BAG!
omg its soooo gorgeous!

and this is taken after our last GEMS lesson.
<3

our xiiao 1st mth. =]
may be insignificant to other people out there
but we will last long.
=] love you.

guess who is this? LOLS.
look so cute~! XD
but now...not so cute. XD

100801 1ST CONCERT 2PM Chansung - Take You Down CAM 6

2010-08-04T18:12:00.000+08:00

OMG!!!!!
soooo damn sexy!!!!
OMGOMGOMG.

he's all grown up!!!! XD

i shall blog.

2010-08-02T20:32:00.004+08:00

mandy has:

uccd revision (whole book. ==)
mr project
biz maths test (by 2moro but i nt going to do much abt it. =x)
complete RWPS report (ARGH)
and still uccd
uccd and uccd.
T________T
and my this stress is all thanks to sum1 lor, right? mr chew?

haiz....he reminds me EVERYDAY. >_<

2nd time writing this coz stupid blogger delete part of my post. WA LAO!

and i was saying....
erm...
shit. letmme think.
oh ya.
i was saying i cant wait for Kbox!!!!!!!
ive been wanting to sing and sing!!!!
and scream wif zhibai and all others..HAHAHA!!!
so fun!
gotta enjoy coz hav been working so hard this term.
OMG. almost lyk last year end of year. WOA.
all the lack of sleep, falling sick, going work after sch, project meetings, term papers and presentations.

FINALLY IM GONNA HAV A BREAK FROM THOSE.

cant wait to play and shoooppppp!!! MUAHAHAH!
eh girls natural instinct lah! (juz lyk its boys; natural instinct to watch porn. =3)

omg im so fat nowadays.
menses not coming.
and i feel it all stuck down there.DAMN.
>_<

i like this pic!!! altho got LES feel. =x

and Tae minnie!!!
OMG he is sooooo cute!
=3

haha! i promised myself to post this up.
but i keep forgetting...=x
so now here it is!

THE PERVERT-NESS OF XIIAO ZHIBAI.

SERENE.L ? says:
*5plus or6
*lol
*funny
*thn i say u
*at night
*moan also very gentle?

MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*WTF
*LOL

SERENE.L ? says:
*hahaha

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*can u dun say such things?!

SERENE.L ? says:
*hahahha
*he like mah

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*ltr he go think alot sia
*wa baing

SERENE.L ? says:
*he now recognise me as master lee
*LOL

SERENE.L ? says:
*ahya
*sooner or later only

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*=o=
*omg

SERENE.L ? says:
*u two lack a place only
*i dun mind renting my room for one night^^

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*ya la ya la
*i noe gab everynight torture u

SERENE.L ? says:
*help u setup ambience etc

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*so u buay gegian

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*muz vent on me

SERENE.L ? says:
*ya lor
*must share mah
*x)

?

MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*LOLLLL
*omg
*EH
*HW COME U SO HORNY NOWADAYS

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*hw can u imagine me ina sexual way?!

SERENE.L ? says:
*i horny all along x) jus tht now more open
*haha
*u like wht
*dont fake
*hahaha !

? MANDY anti-fat. FML. (?_?)# says:
*LOL
*wa sia
*still dare reinforce ur opinions on me

SERENE.L ? says:
*wa chim sia
*hahaha
*HAHA
*funny
-------------------------------END OF R18 CONVO------------------------

haha..... i hope dat didnt scare you. XD
our pervertness is growing day by day and im worried what will happen to us by e time we graduate. =x
sex-deprived old ladies in another 20 yrs time.
=x

haha! mayb by dat time she alr hav xiiao baby ler. XD
since she lyk children soooo much. hehehehe~

someone say he gonna chiong studies durin YOG.
i wonder how many times will we ever meet up.
with me working and he studying....LOL.
mayb can even count with my fingertips le. =x

gambatte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<||||

FUCK MY LIFE

2010-07-29T16:02:00.003+08:00

i knew it.
there was never PEACE when i stay at home too fkin long.

yes. u may hav guessed it.
I QUARELLED WITH MY MOM AGN.

it was a freaking mistake to ask her help me collect my bursary 2dae as im staying at home to complete my report.
coz when she collected e cheque.
she was so happy of this freaking $1200.
immediately ask me to give it to her to pay housing fees or sumtink.

of course i ask her why and such.
she gave lots of reasons (excuses)
and out of which she starts to say things lyk:

im nt asking u to give it to me for free.
i return you on e mthly basis
why? u dun trust me?
didnt i still giv you money every mth?
issnt it e same? why u so selfish?

FK.
wat u tink? u tink ur money very big?
i hav no choice but to get money from you coz i simply dun hav any to spend anymore.
because my pay is freaking low. i admit.
but i hav to study for exams! u want me to risk my studies for money?
i also wish i dun need to eat.
fk.
u take it for granted dat i should be supporting myself,
and that gettting pocket money from you is a sin.
FUCK MAN.
CANT U SEE HW MANY PPL LIVE A DIFFERENT WAY?
u tink i like getting money from you?
u tink i enjoyed to "take advantage" of you?

and u freaking act as if the money is rightfully yours.
u ask me to do my part.
AM I NOT DOING MY PART?!
why i sacrificed all my weekeends for?!
u tink i went out to play?

and u act as if u are doing donation by giving me dat cheque.
i applied for it so shouldnt it be mine?!

on top of using my pay to feed myself, u asked for more.
u asked me to pay for bills and grocery.
and now u are COMPLAINING because i took pocket money from you.
THIS IS CRAZY.

and u said im rude.
ok la fine.
im fucking rude.
u said i looked down on you because i tink u all dun earn alot of money.
dats why u ASSUMED that that is the reason why im rude to you.
i e 1st place, its juz dat my volume is louder.
why? i dun think u get my point, so i speak louder to get my points thru.
is this wrong?
and im agitated. so am i supposed to bow low and kneel while talking to you?

u dun even know. how many "fuck you" i had held bad in my mind.
i am a bad daughter? watever.
i dun really care.

we always argue about money.
u always think u are right.
DO YOU EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY POV?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY THINGS IM HANDLING ON MY OWN?
AND U STILL DARE TO ACCUSE ME I CANT COMMUNICATE WITH YOU, AND I RATHER COMMUNICATE WIF MY FRIENDS.

of course la! who wants to communicate when obviously with you, there is only one-way conversation, where by is u speak, i listen.
whenever i try to talk, u say im rude, im inconsiderate.
all u see is e problem on your hand.

do you even know hw tired i am?

stop taking me for so fucking granted when u dun even appreciate me.

PS: so sorry to ppl who are askin me to update yet i hav to do an ugly one.
its juz so infuriating why money can make us break lyk dat.

positively negative.

2010-07-26T22:24:00.004+08:00

u get it? =]

anyways, i glad that things had gone down this week.
the peace is back! (most of e peace though = =)

darn. 2moro have ssm presentation.
im freaking nervous. and yet im nt preparing enuf.
T____T

and e maths quiz.
dun feel lyk studying it anymore.
since its juz a quiz. =x

see ppl study until e pen crooked!!!!

2dae had fun wif dear friends @ Moberly de K.
LOL~~~~

my dream house siol!!!!
saaw this photo randomly...
AND I FELL IN LOVE WIF IT.
OMG. i like e whole ambience!!!!
so clean and refreshing!!!!!!
but i like those houses decorated wif dark red velvety sofas and fancy lamps too!

extremist much?
HEHE.

and i juz wish this peace will go on.
juz too tired to handle friendship riots anymore. =D

not deserved.

2010-07-24T01:26:00.004+08:00

he, does not derserve the kind of childish treatments you guys are giving him.

so wats up wif the busy bodies trying to become warriors of friends huh?
u tink sticking up for sum1 is cool?
to say it plainly
THE ONLY PERSON I THINK WHICH SERVES TO BE ANGRY IS SHYNA.

the rest, do you even think u deserve to be angry?

im so fuckng tired off all this tantrum throwing.

u guys spoilt his bdae lyk fuck.
wat? did he cheat on u guys or sumtink?
if u guys are lyk that on normal days, its still ok.
ytd was meant for celebration and why would u guys choose to make the whole situation so damn awkward?
wat is the boycotting of lecture for?
and wat was those BLACK FACES for?
wat are u avoiding us for?
wats e mega explosive reaction(s) for?

if u cant adapt then learn to adapt. or dun adapt.
wat e point of attacking when obviously we cant do anything about how u are going to make urself adapt?!

stop pushing YOUR OWN ASSUMPTIONS onto other ppl
u assumed wat u think is right without hearing both side of the story
and act upon it as if u are a righteous judge.
if u say we are being self-absorbed, obviously so were you guys.

if u refuse to accept our reasoning
THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN HELP RITE?
reasons, explanations were offered so sincerely and yet they are being pushed aside by the heat of the moment.

IS THIS WAT U CALLED FRIENDSHIP(S)?

hav u given a thought for us?
as quoted: "pls dun let us affect you both"
sensibly speaking, so can u justify that wat u all are doing now are NOT GOING TO AFFECT US?
i cant believe u guys are thinking so naively.
gimme reasons. i would lyk to hear though coz i simply cant think of any.

i am not blind, not stupid, not blockhead
i don have a shield to ignore everything.
AND DEFINETELY NOT BLINDED BY ANYTHING.
I CAN FREAKING SEE EVERY1 BEHAVIOUR
and u tink i should juz giv a bo chap attitude?
and let u all freak yourselves out?

this is a scar. not an error.
mayb a mistake in CALCULATION, not a mistake in decision.
and so if u guys are sooooo meticulous abt each and every small details

life is going to be so tiring man.

ppl do make mistakes.
you think wat? haven u made ANY MISTAKES until now?
u dare say u are perfect?
u guys said dat we being sudden, being reckless, being in fake denial.
ok fine. i accept. and im sorry.
BUT
wat the fuck is wif e "lose my trust in you" or "you tink you are great" and the numerous hostile attitudes which ive lost count on?
this is WAY OVER REACTING everybody.

we are just trying to explain and if any, apologize to one person ONLY.
OTHERS, PLS THINK SENSIBLY IF U HAVE NO REASONS TO JOIN IN THE "ANGRY PARTY"

taking sides is the worst thing u guys can do
and if u tink the class' atmosphere are nt awkward enuf
if u guys dun tink u are heading towards a childish reaction
at the end of everything, u will find yourself wasting so much time on just A CHANGE OF STATUS.
and worse, its a change of status of someone else. they are not even matters which concerns yourself.

I AM NOT TRYING TO BREAK OUR FRIENDSHIPS OVER HERE.
IM JUZ TRYING TO LET U SEE WAT U GUYS HAVE BEEN OVER LOOKING.
TOO ABSORBED IN YOUR SO CALLED "WOUND" OF THE "BEING LIED TO"
I DUN WANNA SEE ANYONE GETTING HURT

so pls think logically.
if not, who else dare to get into a relationship anymore in future?
imagine if juz a change of status will bring such a chaotic situation.

damn. and i cant sleep properly worrying over u guys.
i feel so stupid myself.

exposed.

2010-07-22T00:34:00.002+08:00

ahahah....
ahahaha....

now what should i say?

fb explains pretty clearly. haha~
didnt really expect this turn of events 2dae though.

even though its prettty obvious (as said by many)
= =
i guess some ppl are still shocked.
kekeke...

i guess we can be more open now. =]

haiz.
so tired!!!
coz i totally cannt do my freaking FMA.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAh.
irritating. >_<

dunno is there sumtink wrong wif my mental capability or wat.
sianed.
i tink hor, my brain downgraded alot ever since i graduated from O lvls.
T_T

this week is rather empty.
wif cancelled lectures and void of presentations.
still! sumhow i cant get enuf sleep.
wats so wrong wif me.

anyway, 2moro's gonna be a freaking long day.
and HOPEFULLY, can pass peacefully. =x

chew benny, now we are official. LOL.

ROSES and petals.

2010-07-20T23:55:00.005+08:00

i found this pic while searching for a background for our ssm ppt.
nice right?!?!?!!?! ^^
love it so much!
oops. leaked out a little secret...hehe.

woa. lucky 2dae no need present ssm.
ytd really fell asleep uncontrollably. T_________T
so damn irritated by myself.
end up, i didnt even off my com and all.
and i fell asleep on e freaking table.
WHOLE NIGHT.

worse still, i am practicing my ssm HALFWAY.
wa god. im so in a panic in e morning and was praying really hard to present nxt week.
and heaven answered my prayers!!!
HEHEHEH~!
heng ar~!

most of our clique presented 2dae.....
haiz. left me zhibai and JJ.
=x

so sick of projects nowadays....
really if this is how im gonna live my worklife in the future, i swear, i tink i will go crazy.

lack of sleep really drives me up e wall and i will start to fall asleep everywhere.

especially on my toiletbowl.T___T
sumtimes im talking to ppl on msn.
and i nver reply for quite a while.
ppl, dats becoz im probably fallen asleep on e toilet bowl.
T_T
so paiseh to admit . but yeah.
its true. >_<
dun u tink this ducky damn cute?!?!! abit cuter then e kids in Despicable Me lor! XD

but anyway, i really dun lyk seeing ppls' blog with their FACES all over.
my All over really means have their faces pasted all over their blog.
everywhere u see in e blog, is only the face. = =
so AA. = =
why not get urself to be a model?
then u can get ur face up on e magazine for everyone else to see also le.
then jiu no need to try so hard to get ppl to appreciate ur "beauty" le.
= =

and sum particular bitch is being irritating nowadays.
going everywhere, spreading news about some other ppls' lovelife.
come on. this is not e way to AA.
if u alr have e bf, juz behave as a good gf and dun go ard ka chiao other ppl's bf lah.
ur bf dun giv u enuf attention doesnt mean u can sabotage other ppls relationship rite?
if u tink u are dat great, so great dat u can ridicule @ other ppl's relationship, by all means laugh lor.
LOL! and zhibai cursed dat bitch till e roof these days. LOL sibei funny.
1st time see her so agitated.
GAH. zhibai now u know hw i hav been feelin a few yrs before.
when dat _____ asked me: mandy, why u dun wanna get a bf? wif that cocky tone.
WTF. i hav bf or not need to report to you meh?
juz becos u hav a stead doesnt make u @ e top of the world.
and ur stead isnt sum1 to be proud of either.
and dun act one weak anymore.
coz u noe we wun fall for it anymore.
especially not me.

whenever i thought of that scarred past which u have caused bitch, i pity myself so much.
for actually forgiving you even though i closed myself off for 2 yrs for that wound to heal.

haha. i end up complaining so much. and i still haven finish my maths tutorial.

zhibai and one horny lion is being suppper perverted nowadays.
lets juz say they need a good fuck to keep them going.
HAHA.
zhibai, i will try to find ur 100km vibrator. if u like it dat much.
LOL

sianed.
back to tutorial.

sometimes i wish we can be open.
but sumtimes i hope we are not.
but i hav to admit. i like e way we are being sneaky.
=D

i need a tiny break!

2010-07-16T00:56:00.002+08:00

once again, i wantu say im dat cute one @ the back. =D

i love it how our hair are e same shades of brown...HEHE! <3

*BIG-EYES!!!!!!*

muahah.
fucking tired.
rushed 2 presentation this week.
dun hav enuf sleep!

unlike sum1 who always takes nap in e night luh! >_<

haiz.
went to watch Despicable Me on wed.
I CANT BELIEVE I FELL ASLEEP IN E MIDST OF E MOVIE!!
T___T
DAMN WASTE $$.
HAIZ.

you guys noe dat i hav Tonsillitis last week rite?
this week supposed to go for doctor's appt.
and i damn scared ltr i got wat critical illness.
=/
wa. luckily, im safe!
hehe!
e doctor juz touch and press my neck abit.
den say e lump gone le dun need come see him le.
LOL.
den i ge kiang, go ask him if e lump still there how?
he jitao say :tio cancer lor.

LMAO!

sian. stioll got projects to chiong.

so fucking tired!!!!! >_<
come back another time. =/

hehe.
i <3 you.

the so called 100 truth.LOL

2010-07-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: mama de herbal tea. =<
2. Last phone call: benny
3. Last text message: serene
4. Last song you listened to:Narsha- Biri Bop Bop
5. Last time you cried: last week while watching drama...

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: no
7. Been cheated on: erm.....not exactly..
8. Kissed someone & regretted it:no. = =
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Brown
13. dark red
14. purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: of course~
16. Fallen out of love: LOLS. can count those crush de not?
17. Laughed until you cried: YES!
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes. =]
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yeah.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yup
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yup!
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 3 quarter?
23. How many kids do you want to have: NONE.
24. Do you have any pets: died oready....
25. Do you want to change your name: HAHA! yes.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: working @ Breadtalk. = =
27. What time did you wake up today: 9 plus
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: i cannt remember....i fell asleep after medicine.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: earn big money.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: few seconds ago?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: have bigger income!
32. What are you listening to right now: korean songs.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? no... = =
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: my tonsilities are painful sia!
35. Most visited webpage: allkpop.com
36. Whats your real name: Chan Min Li Mandy
37. Nicknames:chan mali chan, xiao ye zhu, xiao man, xiao ben gou.. = = ps. i everyday got new ones by Serene. = =
38. Relationship Status: Unavaliable.
39. Zodiac sign: Libra
40. Male or female?: Female
41. Elementary:woodlands ring pri sch
42. High School? Riverside Secondary School
43. College?:er...SP?
44. Hair colour: Brown
45. Long or short: Hair Long, body long, leg long. =]
46. Height: 170cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone? HAHA! of course! wat are idols for? XD
48: What do you like about yourself? ...quick witted?
49. Piercings: 5. 4 on left ear, 1 on right ear.
50. Tattoos: none
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: eyebrow. when i cut them during childhood.
53. First piercing:tell u u also not believe. PRIMARY 6!
54. First best friend: er...forget le.
55. First sport you joined: short distance sprint.
56. First vacation: Malaysia.
58. First pair of trainers: wat are trainers?

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: no
60. Drinking: i want to!!! but cannt.
61. I'm about to: settle down for project.
62. Listening to: where you at by Tae Yang
63. Waiting for: all projects to be done. then....

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: nope.
65. Get Married?: Probably.
66. Career?: sumtink which i can do very well in.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice stomach.
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Nope
77. Drank hard liquor: Nope.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: yes.
79. Sex on first date: LOL! maybe will try it in future.
80. Broken someone's heart: yup.
82. Been arrested: no
83. Turned someone down: yup.
84. Cried when someone died: yup.
85. Fallen for a friend?: er....yea.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: 60%
87. Miracles: 40%
88. Love at first sight: yes
89. Heaven: Yes.
90. Santa Claus: No.
91. Kiss on the first date: definitely no.
92. Angels: Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no.
95. Did you sing today?: Yup.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: Yes.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: i want go forward.
98. If you could relieve a day last year which day will it be?: need a long time to think leh!
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? :abit.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: alright :D in my blog!

fcking sick.

2010-07-06T23:24:00.002+08:00

no im not saying any1 dats sick in e mind.

im juz saying that im running a fever of 38.6

AA rite?
haiz.
aiyah.
anything lor.

terrible.
i swear i hate fever the most.
coz it make my brain so fuzzy dat i cant think properly.
juz lyk how i spent today's afternoon.

ming ming jiu shi you fever.
still say can do project.
end up juz cannt do anything productive.

I HATE YOU PROJECTS!
I HATE YOU X2 FEVER!
>_<
pls pretend you heard my worst cursing upon this line. = =

im stuck.
gotta drag my self thru e night
or wat?

i still got rwps intro!!!!
OMGGGG.
T___T

die die die die die die die die die.

i tink my stoic face infront of e computer right now is epic.
and of course i wun show it here becoz its simple.
TOO CUI.

damn.
really feel im going to die right nnow. =/

SORE

2010-07-05T23:12:00.004+08:00

look look!!!!!!
my new fave!!!! lee jonhyun! =D
hey i can like guys without eye liner de OK.
= =

today's mon.
i realise, i get suay every mon.
last mon, i lost my ex link card.
this mon, i got sick.
WtH.
tired leh! *(whoever.. whatever~)* lao tian ye pls dun play with me anymore leh. T_T

haiz.
*shakes head*
now chiong-ing qanl... v guai hor? =3

2dae v happy!! coz my MR marks increase to 72!!!
OMG.
finally at least got a B!
MUAHAHA!

haiz.
if u notice that i keep sighing for no reason, ps uh. ppl juz tired lah. haha.

wa juz now go poo poo, den u noe u hav to use force right?
and i hav blockage since i got flu, den when i use force, i tot im gonna hav a stroke or sumtink. = =
sibei sian.

breadtalk's gonna hav its anniversary this week.
OMG.
its gonna be so busy.
die liao.
if i cannt recover before fri, i tink im gonna die in e shop.

i discovered a lump on my neck.
OMG.
damn scared coz i scared is bad growth.
=/
v pain leh!
i tot i sprained my neck siol.
T_T
still v pain.

btw, sum1 keep requesting his photo to appear on my blog.
but, for e sake of the wellbeing of those who come here (so as not to scare them off), i sincerely rejected his request. HAHA!!

T_T back to qanl tutorial.

1/2 way thru 1st week of sch.

2010-06-30T23:13:00.002+08:00

its juz half way thru the 1st week and im barely hanging on.
u asked why?
becoz im on diet, and it makes me tired easily.
LOL.
AND AND. e projects are starting to stress!
AND AND AND unexpected things keep coming up.
AND AND AND AND i keep waking up @ the wrong time!!!!( i keep thinking that e class is @ 8am when its @ 9)T___T

stupid me.
so that means im waking up @ 5.50 am ever since mon.

and i haven been exercising, so my "healthy hormones" arnt coming out, and my PMS is coming.
CRAP. YABE.

and i fking lost my ezlink card on mon!!!!!!!
and i wasted more than $50 on getting around the lost of my concession: buying standard tickets, buying an adult ez-link card+ topping it up, remaking my poly ez-link card, and taking photo for my ez link card.

LESSON LEARNT: DON EVER EVER LOST UR EZ-LINK! ESPECIALLY WHEN U ARE LIVING FAR AWAY FROM SCH. gaaaaaH!!

i really wonder how am i gonna travel when i no longer hav my concession.
travelling gonna coz a bomb!!!!
(can i jump straight to getting e senior citizen card?)

OH I KNOW. in future, i will juz get my parents to get their senior concession card and i can use!!!
HEHEHE!
or......get ppl to fetch me. =DDDD
fetch me fetch me! treat u lunch! HAHAHA! ^^

as usual, getting results isnt the best time of my life.
but this time wasnt so bad.....i guess?
my Biz maths is a BIG HAIZ.
but lucky, i passed.
or rather, lucky that the teacher pitied me and gave me pity marks.
=]
50 marks.
WOW.
since when Mandy Chan can get this kind of score?
LOLS.

nevertheless, i reap what i sow.
so....i guess. i deserved it sumhow.=]
dats what i get for being overly ambitious?
no qualms watsoever.

its nice to be wif e class again!
hahaha. wats wrong wif me now.

and now, i totally no mood in doing any homework.
T_____________T
call that P_______ or C_______
HAIZ.

2moro is gonna be a loooooooooooooooooong loooooooooooooooooong day.
OMFG.
rwps.
JUZ DUN LET ME DIE IN E CLASS!

HAHA! here's the she-freak who got waaay overly high when she got back her awesome QANL results on mon. =]

don scared don scared!
obviously i saw sumthink haunting behind!
worry not.
im gonna pray properly! XD

demoralised much?

2010-06-28T00:05:00.002+08:00

ok.
here am i to groan and moan about sch 2moro.

to prepare for sch, i actually looked into e lesson schedules.
and i realised everything is reeealllly fkin rushed DUE TO THE YOG BREAK IN AUG.
damn it.
its so packed, that i hav to projects crammed in to complete by week 3/4 of Term 2.
hectic much?

SUPER HECTIC.
T____T
*shudders- shudders*

AND.
im still VERY disturbed by my encounter wif Herbalife ppl @ Orchard on Thu when i went to watch movie wif Shyna.
GAAAAH!!!
let me tell u wat happened.

they :

asked me of my age
asked me to take my weight on a weighing machine out of nowhere on e street (sensitive sia!>_<)
analysed my fat % , bone mass etc.(\=o=/)
said im not very healthy and showed me photos of ppl who overcame their unhealthiness thru their products.(YES. hint of MLM. no?)
said that i can make a difference myself by using their products too! and claimed that e cost is cheap! (everything is cheap when u break them down in many days. = =)
tried to coax me into buying but obviously i said no.

after this.
i found out that i:

actually have water retention
have really strong bones since my bone mass is at e top range (shld i be happy?)
body fat acceptable but going out of safety range. (OMFG)

have to lose 4-5 kg to achieve correct weight for my body
am eating too much calories right now. especially with B.R.E.A.D

fine fine.
i admit im mild fat ok? T^T
anyway. that pushed me right down my mood swing coz...
ITS SO FKIN DEPRESSING!
imagine u are on a high, going for abit of shopping and movie after tiring work, yet sumwhere ppl jump out and bomb u that u are unhealthy, u are fat, u need our products.
T_____T
HAIZ.

sianed.
and now,im actually counting calories.
= =
not that it helped me reduced eating...
but is choosing lower calories food?

BYE BYE fish and chips @ fc6
BYE BYE fish head bee hoon (mayb i can eat occasionally? T^T)
BYE BYE vegetarien stall coz too oily.
BYE BYE malay stall coz obviously higher calorie
BYE BYE chicken rice (i tink its high calorie also?)

SAY HI TO yong tau hu stall.(im so gonna be ur loyal customers.T_T)
SAY HI TO e mixed rice stall which i hav never eaten b4....
SAY HI TO fruit stall. (apparently, i need waaaay more potassium to help me reduce water retention. and i should eat banana. OMFG. bananna,T____________T)
SAY HI TO watever fruit juice!

=o= so.....my only food stall is...GAH. yong tau hu agn.
any one wantu join me eating fruits?

haiz. this calorie thing is really getting me.
i bought Ribena for serene and myself @ work today.
and i found out i small little packet of Ribena contains bout 700 calories.
AAAAAAAAAAAA! thats more den i shld take for my LUNCH!
1 packet ribena = lunch?
OMG.
end up i dun dare drink.
i tink....
i will drink it 2moro during class.
T___T

and....im still aching all over!
mayb i ran too much ytd?
or i shit too much today?
i lausai 3 times this morning.
the slimming tea is too strong i guess.
T_T

HAIZ.
good luck for sch in Term 2!
i tink im having a new start.

Term 1 was.......hectic and messy. =]

calm.

2010-06-26T22:09:00.002+08:00

holy- moly!!!
HAIZ.
DBSK used to be so majestic wif 5 members.....
even though all my fave members are in JYJ......awwww! >_<

DBSK hwaiting! <3
abit sad when i saw these photos.....

nah.
anyway.....
today was off day!!
HAHA.
was working my butts off e past 2 days.
HAIZ.
ever since playing badminton wif benny, shyna and kai yuan
my body ache lyk siao for 2 days.
SALONPAS ALSO NO USE!!!
T____T

my right arm still tremble whenever i carry e whole stack of trays.

AND LYK IM GONNA DIE 2MORO COZ I 2MORO DAMN EARLY SHIFT?

T________________T||||

fairy tail sooooo naise!
yuppo! i lurve ERZA!!!! wahaha!
if only our life is as simply as living like anime......
mayb dats why we watch anime...
to experience what we cannt have in real life.
awwww!

stepping into the 12th day of cold war wif my mum.
hmm...
think this time gonna set up a new record.
LOL.

u see, cold war runs easily in my family.
until the fact that my father doesnt even care and act as if normal.
he doesnt even ASK WHY im nt speaking to my mom.
im speechless.
until e fact that i can walk ard e whole house and went out of e house while closing e main door as if there was nobody there.

LOL. once again, i felt as if i live in my house as a tenant more then a family.
freedom 100%.
now i really dun even need to say if im coming home for dinner or not.

mayb its all my doings.
for trying to play truant.
LOL.
late rebellion.
but nevermind.
i lyk it this way.
afterall, im e one paying for my groceries though.

omg. gotta sleep!!!!
morning shift 2moro. T__T
DANG.

lost of touch.

2010-06-19T22:01:00.003+08:00

i dunno why.
i guess its emo time agn.

mayb u guys are getting sick of hearin me emo...
haha? den by all means ignore this post.

maybe its none of my business.
but haiz. shyna yah, dun get so angry la....
=x
even though its not my fault here.
but u lyk dat i guess we all will feel sad also.
i dunno.

anyway i guess im juz tired.

had night shift on fri, and a suuuuuuper early shift i hav to wake up @ 5.20 when i got home @ 12.20 ytd night.
so i hav e right to be tired right?
sian ttm.
at work nothing for me to look forward to...
all i can do is to try and be cheery as possible. if not ltr they say i attitude agn.
haha.

haiz... at these type of mood, SOLF, can i say i missed you terribly?
i dunno....

haha. wats so wrong wif me.
i guess im thinkin too much again.
im so confused lately.
there are 2 major issues going on in my mind.
one is VE. another is...... ________
(paiseh....i dunno hw to phrase....=x)

after thinking ans thinking and thinking , i tink i will quit VE.
yes. it has been taking its toll on me.
forgive me but i decided to be the stupid bitch who gave up on her *pending career* with VE.
forgive me coz i decided not to be dat determined motivated lil girl, trying to "earn quick bucks", believing dat self improvement will change my world.
im so totally sick of constantly attending wat motivational talks, getting motivated for awhile. den after that still forcing myself to stay motivated.
why muz i torture myself lyk dat?
for fuck.
its not as if my parents can appreciate also.
me working so hard, jumbling wif 2 jobs while studying
for fuck?
i dunno anymore.
watever brainwashing i've been thru so far
i jolly well say i enjoyed them.
but not anymore.

i just couldnt carry on anymore.
i sick of it bugging my mind for 2 whole months.
im sick of taking care of all the emotional issues which came wif it all along this journey.
isnt work supposed to be time-killer?
ITS SO NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A METAL TORTURE.

while it bring mental boosts lyk confidence and experiences, nah. the negative part greatly outweighed the positive part.

WHY CANT I ENJOY BEING A STUDENT JUST LIKE ANY OTHER NORMAL 17 YR OLD?
i dun wanna be sum super capable teenager anymore.
i juz wantu be sum normal teenager.
who's world are nothing but sch and personal life.
no need to worry bout money anymore.
happily get $$ from parents lyk endles supplies.

DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FORTUNATE U GUYS ARE?

u think coping wif studies and schools and ur watever BGR are tiring.
wait till u hav to constantly worried about bills.
staring @ those piles of envelopes, which staring @ them oready bring wrinkles to your face.
stoning when ur parents nags @ u for not contributing towards those fucking bills while paying for ur own fucking expenses.
taking you for granted to present them some freakin cash to get by.

HEY. im juz 17. what the fuck do you want from me.
why in e world are u taking me for granted to pay for so much things?
do i look lyk some money making machine?
do i look lyk i can go on full time, earn sum fucking $1000 plus for you,
are you even aware how much initiative im taking OREADY in helping u guys?
im saying for so many times oready. take a freakin look others pls.
*you= lao niang de parents. no offence taken hor.

forget it.
as much as i say over here.
there's no freakin way you will ever ever see.
im taking it out on my own freakin blogl.
if not, i really think i will go crazy.

my pay nowadays issit alot coz sumhow...exams here and there i cant work much.
the biggest thing on my mind now is my sch fees.
simply fuckety.

everybody has so many issues.
who will b e one willing to share and care for you when they hav their own issues to deal wif?
those who cared, will be real friends.

PLAY PLAY relax!

2010-06-17T17:27:00.003+08:00

it has been such a long time since i enjoyed myself.
all thanks to JJ's chalet! =]
even though its such a short chalet.
HAIZ. i wish it was 3 days 2 nites instead.
DBA 13, after 1 and half year, finally had a chalet tgt!!!!
hahaha, we are such "shy" kids. =D
JJ's $89 b'dae cake was suuuuuuuuper nice!!!! OMG. still got liquor.HAHA!
damn nice. woa she spent alot for her b'dae!

haha. i went all red from e alcohol dat nite. i hope nobody had taken a photo of me!!!!
=o=
so paiseh!!!!! BUT i finally found sum1 who went equally red!!! no is even redder.
Mr Kuan Yong! i never knew u can red until lyk dat! LMAO!
he reeally looks lyk 2am's Jin Woon. REALLY!

too bad e 2nd day was raining so badly. trapped us in several places b4 we made it to e Macdonald, thru e rain.
me and zhibai was lyk singing in e rain!
lyk e army troop who walked past us.LMAO!

my mother spoilt my morning becoz she felt that i was rude.
god damn. is dat such a big sin to ask her to call me IF she wants?
WTF. i cant see e point of her being so angry over such a simple thing.
if she wants to noe where am i , juz call me la!
wtf. do i still need to behave lyk a 15 yr old kid, calling back home to report everything? wats wif her being sooo fucking mad when i dun call back home?
INDEPENDENT. isnt this wat u hav thought me over e years?
and u FUMED when i become TOO INDEPENDENT? HUH.
wat a women.
simple things lyk dat. seriously, i dun even noe why u screamed at me.
DATS WHY I DUN EVEN FEEL LYK STAYNG @ HOME, FACING U ALL DAY.
fuck.
(purposely made it smaller if u dun want see negative post. =/)

anyways~!
i guess we saw more sides of us and our bonds are closer! =]
lets hav chalet again!

on mon i had pri sch gatherin wif pl, yx, bee qi and ee hoon!
nice to hav most of e girls coming although its my 1st time organising!
haha! elson ho, just too bad u cannt make it luh!!!! >_<|||
but i dun wan plan anymore! so tiring! LOL! T_T

hold on, show u some photos 1st!
and hor, those ppl who look @ my blog can tag me not?
i didnt noe that there's being a stalker is so popular now?!
yes, especially u benny chew. = =

pls forgive this unglam X 100 photo. T_T
ytd i muz have looked lyk a freak, wearing a pink sweater, singing so loudly..HAHA!

yea!!!! geek's nite babe!!!!!! XD xoxo!

i think sally has "collage-making" syndrome.
LOLS! she's totally addicted i tell you! ^^

see? 3 times oready!!!!
(hands on my heads and RUN~~)

haha! sorry for wearin a mini skirt hor. =X
i got e honour to be buried wif bags.

elson ho!! u see u see u never come! =X

dinner wif kelly they all last mon.

i love this picture!
i look so damn cute! XD
(ps i abit BHB.)

i want to go out everyday and play!!!!!!!
i wan to enjoy larh!!!!

i seriously enjoy slacking , doing what i like!
and reading e books i had borrrowed from e library.
LOLS!!!!!
im totally into holiday!!!

new skin.

2010-06-14T00:06:00.003+08:00

i actually regretted watching e dramam sally intro to me: Nappeun Namja. AKA Bad Guy.

becoz it made my hormones rage all over kim nam gil even though kim jae wook alone is enough for me to die for. T____T
i totally turned into a fan girl.
becoz of a mustache.
AISH.
some promotion picture for Nappeun namja....=X(its a surprise to see Han Ga In though..i tot she will be happy being married.LOLS)

kim nam gil OMG. trust me. he lloks waaaaaaay better den this pic. = =

actually....im abit drowsy right now....so..mayb i will blog ltr. haha!

yaye! going chalet on tue!!!!
lookiing so forward.HAHA! =]

so......how does ppl like my new skin?
hahah?

10 pics.

2010-06-03T23:11:00.002+08:00

hi! ^^
im back wif 10 pics to feed this blog! (come mum mum! =X)
aww blog dearie i've neglected u so much nowadays coz im simply toooo ~~busy~~ lazy.

some times, instead, i envy those who hav e time to constantly update blogs wif those
"similar angled self cam pictures."
they hav the time! WOA.
if only i hav e time now.
even though i blogged, there are loads of things i never managed to show here...
haiz. i do really wantu record my life on e go so that i can review thopse memories in future!
sadly my hp not mordernized enuf to do so. HAIZ.

i finally realized how blank and innocent my life USED TO BE.
although im so not enjoying my life now.
so tiring, feel lyk giving up everything and juz so m'sia find my uncle.

I WANT A HOLIDAY!
and so, i cant wait for e chalet this coming june.
LETS ENJOY TTM DBA 13!
awww this awesome pair had side-effects on me!

glam/ unglam?

bloody hell when e knife fall from e table, slide down my leg and of course cut my leg.
it SLIDE down.

HEHEH! this pic soooo cute!

im e murderer of this cockroach. it deserved its death- steamed cockroach.

me and zhibai photocopied these mst papers. BUT HAVEN DO!!!

woa. the awesome mango and strawberry ice @ Xin Wang Cafe. for juz $5.90 each.
thanks yen shuang for helping us!!! XD

les? aw no no no. im Bisexual. =X

haha! met up wif her ytd!! yeok hoom! my 13 yr childhood friend!!!!
woa. longest friend ever siol!!!!!
she had all my childhood secrets.......(muz bribe her liao...LOL)

can u believe it? mandy chan ate bananas (chips)!!!
omg. it has been yrs since i last touched banana.
but i muz say its nice!
awww so crispy! @ Daiso for juz $2!!!!!

haha! my papa came in to get something from me.(3rd time)
i sort of irritated and juz say "argh! take take take! tsk!"
he goes, " oi! why angry at me?! "

LMAO. so cute! =3
so woodblock, so naggy, so xiao nan ren.
dats why im unattracted to virgo guys.LOLS!

2010-05-28T00:19:00.002+08:00

its been so long since im actually blogging.

this week is super busy.
2 ppt in a row, and practically went out of my mind from all e preparation and memorisation and lack of sleep.

haiz. so chui and tired today.
wore spects to sch for e 2nd time ever since poly started.
OMG.
T____T got so chui mah! >_<
haiz. this sat still gt e bugis thing and work.

my bursary haven go settle.

and i grown fatter.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.

so disapppointed. i tot i slim instead!
WTF.
nevermind. i tink these days lack of sleep makes me fatter. (wat logic. - -)

and also im sooo tired right now.

oh ya. i finally wfinished Youre Beautiful.
HAHAH! freaking nice!!!
jang geun suk is legend! OMG. hw can sumone have such a perfect face?!?!

even when im typing this, im actually dozing.
update soona gn....hehe! ^^

Jang Geun-Suk & Park Shin-Hye Bed Scene Making [Eng Sub]

2010-05-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

[HD] MV - Cabi song (Caribbean Bay) 2PM & SNSD

2010-05-21T17:15:00.000+08:00

2010-05-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

1st of all.
HWANG CHAN SUNG IS A HAWT GUY.
OMG.
SEE HIS ABS! ABS! (and his eyeliner!)
i cannt tahan guys wif eyeliner.
i juz find it sooo damn enticing.

uruha, adam lambert, and 2pm when they perform without you.

WOAH.

sexy sexy pom pipi!
<3

recently, zhi bai is sooooo pervertic dat she influenced benny. = =
gawd. i cannt imagine living with 2 hardcore perverts who talks nothing except 20cm vibrators and night exercises.
LOLS. and of course alot moer which are no longer appropriate for public viewing.
HAHAH!
haiz. im soo gonna get more corrupted. =/

alot of things to do.

2dae failed to wake up on time, hence missed UCCD tutorial.
DAMN. i really admire ms cassandra.
so capable! OMG. haiz
and she owns a samsung netbook and blackberry.
awww~ i want them too!
and her job damn geng.
I LIKE!

and went for e bugis event training.
WOA. lucky get a shop @ 2nd level which are not bad!
and e stall aunty v friendly!( main reason to join her shop)
HAHA! and sibei happy to be able to work tgt wif serene.
woa. i tot i would have to work alone. =<

and homework are piling up!
and i juz dun feel lyk doing anything. HAIZ.

i need a bigger bag.
WHERE IS MY TOTE BAG!!!!!
sibei long waiting time.

shyna i love you!
zhibai i love you!(dunno y serene never accept my BFF request on FB)
SOLF i love you!
HAHA!

and ppl stalk FB!
LOLS!
purposely dun wan tag huh!
tou tou go read also never chap ji kah.
still dare come tell us deforestation.LOL!
funny guys.

and enjoy the eye-candies!!!!
i love hwang chan sung! OMG. FM. XD

2010-05-05T20:58:00.002+08:00

it has been many many days since my last post.

2day, i especially made time to cool myself down.
im so tired right now that after tutorials im going sleep.
so im going to finish my tutorial ASAP.

my life has reeeealy hectic.
those who hav been around me should hav known.
im practically dragging myself to sch, wif cough and minor flu, sit in lecture, sleep in lecture, and chiong to office on weekdays, chiong to Breadtalk on weekends.
ppl say: y should you work so hard? or rather, why should u choose a 2nd job?

there are alot of emotional thoughts which u dun know. and i dun intend to let you know. =]
i admit i hav changed.
in terms of mindset, skill set.
im moving to a more mature Mandy.

the old me was paranoid about little things, i admit i do sumtimes make a mountain out of a molehill to make myself better.
im emotional, rash, inferior and jealous.
watever it is.
im slowly changing. to a faster paced mandy, who wun keep hanging on to little things which ppl carelessly discarded to me.

there are things im trying to let go.
and its not easy.

last sunday i crashed emotionally because of my 2 close friends.
i admit, that day, i wantu disappear from everywhere.
i cried when i was in toilet 1. i walked around and realise i end up @ toilet 2 crying agn.
i was hoping to find a leeway for temporary escape. i ran to SOLF.
and at the same place, i saw my 2 friends.
im so speechless and stunned. i really tot of running away from them. serious.
but they are compassionate enough to sit down and talk.
and things got sorted out.
and i realised, e reason i cannt let go, is becoz i nver really attempt to solve it.
i juz tried to bury everything.

i cant resort to having cold war wif ppl everytime.
although thats what i've learnt since my family are PRO @ giving cold wars.
i need to talk it out.

ppl may hav made a fool out of us for making these choices all this while.
but zhibai, li dan and yen shuang! we can do it! =]
and the day where we achieve, they will know who's e real fool!
hahaha!

direction.

2010-04-18T18:00:00.002+08:00

2dae im sooooo awfully glad to stay at home.
im lyk running around from breadtalk to comapny , go home sleep agn and chiong agn.

it even makes me guilty for staying @ home today. =/

i've been going on and on and on dat im trying to hold out as long as possible.
no this is not regret. =]
i will tell myself.
decisions are being made, take a plan, set ur mind on it and go for it.

things are soo jumbled up in my mind dat sumtimes its suffocating.
and so many risks and Maybe(s).
trust me, moving out of my usual comfort zone is one of e toughest things in life.
the worry, the fear, the negativity.
BUT. once u overcomed it. the feeling, the shiokness. HAHA.cannt be replaced.

come to think of it, we are wat we are today because we hav overcomed many things.
as babies, we are afraid to walk because we are scared to fall. but now we can walk because we fell down and learn to walk agn!
as child, im damn afraid to call on e phone. i still remember i was trembling all e way when i called my friend for e 1st time. and when i hang up, i screamed.LOLS.my mom tot i was crazy.
and now, which one of us are not calling on ppl lyk nobody's business?
even calling strangers. =]

as teenagers, im afraid dat i will fail at sch, im afraid to fall back in academics, and freaking cried everytime i couldnt get good results.but i tink my results didnt end dat bad afterall.

and now, new challenges are popping up and as much i will lyk to avoid them
i tink overcoming them is way more impt.
imagine hw capable u will be once u shoot all of them down.
but now the difficult stage is how to force urself to do it.
=/
and i cant deny im stuck, and lost in direction.
but, i find myself trying hard to find sum motivation for myself.
dat shows dat im nt ready to giv up rite? =D
so...i will hang on there until the day where i cannt take it anymore.

2010-04-18T09:36:00.002+08:00

陪自己看烟火陪著自己去兜风
向软弱说分手自己旅行自己梦
喝一罐冰啤酒灌溉久违的酒窝
让笑容回到双颊的粉红

那是谁说女孩没有ROCK'N ROLL
我对我说当最后只剩下我谁是我英雄?

看不到找不到等不到你的 HERO
为何不作自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火的SHERO
像女王挥舞著骄傲披风

先转身先自由先说再见先解脱
世界在他背后原来这麼的辽阔
也坚强也温柔也有紧握的拳头
去敲奏全新生活的节奏

在我的编年史中写下了一个传说
要把History 改写成Herstory
在我的回忆录中快乐要蔓延很久
那就今天开始建造我王国我是女王一般的SHERO

看不到找不到等不到你的 HERO
为何不作自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火不再退缩

不要了不找了不等了谁要 HERO
站出来作自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火的SHERO
像女王挥舞著骄傲披风

this song is on replay every freaking day! ^^

strive

2010-04-14T23:19:00.002+08:00

haha.
hav u seen me behaving so...weird lately?

really.
confidence means alot to life.
and im learning alot nowadays.

omg....sch is starting and i dunno whether to look forward to it or not. =o
T_T

and im having slight fever and sore throat.T_T
damn.
hav to go office 2moro!
but i shldnt think it as a burden.
not after wat i've been thru. =]

lee hyori's new album really nice lyk shit.OMG.
NICE LAAA!
damn stylo-milo her songs!!!! =@

DAMN i need panadol supplies.haha!

2010-04-11T00:19:00.002+08:00

ok.....there's just so much going on for me and i...
wun be blogging in anyway sooon...
haha.

my life. its bout to change. =]

Break's over!

2010-04-06T13:52:00.003+08:00

i tink i have fallen in love!!!!! ^^

with my LG lollipop! HEHE!
OMG. i really love it!
apart from ocassional lags and er...e typing prob,(not used bak to keypad)
it rocks!!!OMG.
e design i totally love it!
i sumhow feel lyk i downgrade to a small girl again.... = =

BUT.
guess what? i saw these cutey pie doing out there and im lyk WTF X 100?!

.....
no wonder they are selling it for $68 wif plan.
*claps* at their marketing antics.
ya got me. = =

have been mapling lyk there's no 2moro ...
AND I ANNOUNCE IM SOOOOOO SICK OF IT.
didnt even fully utilise my 2xp 24 hr coupon!（there goes my $3...T_T)
i love this skilll of mine! its call FENRIR PHAMTOM.
damn shuai lar!!!!! ^o^
im not haolian la. juz dat i lyk dat wolf so much LOLS!

and juz sum old photos....
juz now go fb. saw benny's perverted comment and co.
= =
hmph.
and shun bian scrolled thru reiina's photo album...wa....crazy memories.LMAO!

THIS IS SUPER OLD AND SUPER.......unglam. GAH.

but made me laughed lyk shit.LOL!

kk.gtg.
hav to eat den go work.WOOOOOO = =

2010-04-02T00:35:00.003+08:00

Current song：Mad world by Adam Lambert.
listen to the lyrics. it made so much sense.=>

fine. im feeling emotional again.
i told zhibai in e shop ytd, that sumthink's wrong wif me.
im becoming more and more paranoid.
im constantly worrying about lame stuffs.
i am really thinking and worried about ALOT of things. but i cant say.

and i become especially nervous when im alone in the train.

wats so wrong?

at this rate i dunno when i will lose grip.
i dun want history to re-enact.
i used to cry suddenly in sch in e past. however, dats because of sch work.
but now i dunno wats getting into me. = =

work?mayb im juz too tired.
today is my one precious off day and i think i wasted it.
mama always lyk to grab e chance to "educate" me whenever im home for e day.
today, her topic is: wat happens to the family after the passing away.
nothing emotional (not lyk last time = =) juz saying where she bought her "place” in the temple and how by doing so she had reduced my "burden" in future as the only child.

we are nt sum freaking rich family y make such a big deal out of these things?

i jitao tell her, after humans die, there's no need to spend sum freaking $$ to buy some freaking place in the temple de mah! u are not on earth also! y waste $$ and waste SPACE summore?! s'pore lack space liao still lyk dat.
aiyoh, after i die juz throw my ash into the sea can liao ma....so ma fan, still muz spend thousands booking some freaking place in the temple. zzzzz = =|||

she jitao diao me.
......

srsly, the big deal shld be how to get away from the living instead of how to settle after leaving the living.
eer...= - u get wat i mean?
rephrase: big deal= process of death ; small deal= the aftermath of death itself.

GAH. why am i going to far in detail on this random subject.
zzzz.

anyway, im still emo.
and i feel lyk posting sum of those emo pictures up here.

maple starts to be more boring.
coz lvl 71 liao abit hard to train.
and im waiting for some free time where i can buy 2X exp card to lvl faster.

few days ago, i told cheryl: i nver eat the dark cherry charm i brought home last sun.
she asked why, and i said: coz my mama go dabao breakfast for me, no chance eat.
she replied: u got such a good mama still complain. i dun even hav lor.

it made me rather awkward. i knew i rubbed on her wounds.
=X
bu shi gu yi de leh! >_<
psps.
i scared she bth.cozz she lyk really stressed out nowadays.
summore she full time.
i tink, our shop de cashier(s)...sumtimes life sibei jia lat for us.
haiz.
song song sick liao.i think she recovered.
those kids also nowadays keep fallin sick or becoming really busy.
hey, get well quick ok!
if not......

i guess i will continue to go emo liao.

swirling and swirling.

2010-03-28T00:18:00.002+08:00

saw sum freaking chiobu's blogs.
wa.
flawless skins. big boobs, wavy hairs, big eye plus good eyeliner skill.
and of course a good photographer and a smexy pose.

drooling?

nope. i dun droll for girls.LOLs.
i can only be E-N-V-I-O-U-S.
=3

but their lives so messy....
lyk rollercoaster.everyday got so manny ppl probs and things to do.

today went home on bus.
u noe those long bus got one round platform in e middle.
i was standing there peacefully until a grp of 5 cantonese guys joined.
they noisy nevermind.
but why muz they raise their arms and why i hav to see their xiao ku ku?!
wa lao. see for 3rd time 2dae liao leh.
electric blue wif dunno wat pattern.
feel lyk laughing but of course cannt right, den hav to REN.
I HOPE I DIDNT TURN RED FROM HOLDING MY LAUGHTER.

i tink....one of them saw me v uncomfortable.
imagine one big round all big guys, taller den me(woa rare chance.), speaking cantonese, one looking cute surrounding.only me female.= =
and they was saying sumtink.
my earphones didnt let me hear wat they say.
i only know that one of them say bb to me when they left..
ZZZ.wtf.

for a moment i regret looking damn cui after slogging @ morning shift for 8 hrs today.
DATS A FULL TIME'S TIMING LE WOR!
but den...lucky no yan dao (handsome) there.....if not.i sure kik myself. =<

2moro freaking morning shift.
again.
i realy hate it when e bakers starts pervertic convo.
zzzzz.
so childish.
horny go find gf la.aiya.
still say wat they normal.
normal my foot.
usually i turn emotionless when they start to talk pervy
heng they wun include me coz i wun entertain them de.
I TOO YOUNG.=3 (dun hit me pls. >_<)
ltr they say i bin chao chao again lmao.

wtv.
i finally bought new work shoees!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!
I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!
AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

I WAN LG LOLLIPOP!!!!!

AND I NVER MAPLE TODAY!!!

adam lambert! \ ❤ v ❤/

2010-03-27T00:12:00.002+08:00

！！！！！！！
isnt he hawt enuf?
plus eyeliner omg. i wantu faint!

he can fight wif uruha liao. LOLLLLL.
but i lyk his songs because his voice has a wide range.
so can hit alot of different how to say...
screams.

so stuck that im practically repeating it all over and over.

and holy shit 2moro hav a really earlier shift.
8am!
i swear nobody had put me on a 8am shift b4..
why?
BECAUSE I LIVE IN FREAKIN WOODLANDS!
AND FOR ME TO GO WORK ON TIME, I NNED TO WAKE UP AT 5.30.
FK.

nevermind.
i get to go home @ 2pm,
den i can go home freaking early and play...maple.
muahaha lvl 70!!!!!!!!!!!1
finaly reached 3rd job advance.
OMG.
so proud of myself. =3

i think
i will work harder nxt year. in sch.
is it abit too late for this idea? lol.
i hope not coz i sorta expected this when my attitude towards sch isnt THAT serious anymore.
u cannt imagine hw crazy im lyk in e past.
even me myself dunno hw i survived( as mentioned bout this over and over again...= =)

......
will think bout that 2moro.

but now i gotta sleep!

glooms'day

2010-03-24T23:12:00.002+08:00

im in a low low LOW mood.
tweetyB went back home, today, and we sent her off to Changi.
we met her @ HG mall, ate pizza-hut and played arcade and pack her luggage and chiong to Changi.

she's a very ....how to say.... important character in my worklife.
being the cashier head, she had helped us handle/taken care of alot of things.
and she's been e one helping me (along with cheryln, weiping etc) when zhibai quitted and im starting to feel lonely.
dats when i get to know tweetyb better. =]

she seems lyk a totally fierce lady at first and that made me damn worried.
but....she's far from fierce actually, mayb...more of the quiet kind?
she told me alot of stories,experiences with sincerity.
and joked and tolerated al of the many "rubbish" in e shop.
srsly, i dunno whether 5 mths in HFC meant anything to her...but.
im glad she came.=]

thanks for teaching me so many things all this time
guiding me along, this....ignorant me.=]
we all know that u are tired from the shop, and perhaps going back home is a better choice.=]

although i've been mentally preparing myself so that i wun cry in the airport..
in e end i still cried outside the departure hall.
DUN imagine me sticking onto the glass panel and bawling my heart out that kind of dramatic scenes...N-O.
i just merely had tears rolling. ONLY.=]
fyi, thats about as much as i can control myself in front of them and all e other people.
LOL 4 teary; red-nosed ppl walking tgt will be a unique scene, right?

i cooled myself down in the toilet and then tweetyb called.
LOL~ she said: you all hav been crying right?
im lyk: no lor~ who will cry for you?! LOL

when i ask them hw come she can see from so far
xian xian said: u la! ur whole face was soooo red! so obvious.
o-0!
.......
T______________T
my fault.
paiseh. =[

people cannt breath properly maaaaaa.
aiyoh~>_>

today also got my results.
u know the 1st sms i saw was the one for Biz Maths module.
and since i got A for it, my GpA for that module was 4.0

wa sia.i was soooooooo fking happy lyk a crazy girl because i tot my sem 2 results was wat GPA 4.
end up i saw a 2nd sms and it says GPA 3.2
im lyk huh?!

look closely, den i realise DATS my sem 2 results.
and GPA 4 was juz a Biz maths module.

to sum up, i got As for really stupid modules. ZZZZZ
and B+ for normal modules.
and B to C+ for IMPT modules.
WTF.
i worked quite hard you know, during exams.
i even sacrificed lyk 3 weeks of work.
fking hell.
waste my money for THAT kind of results.

no offence to ppl out there but srsly i think 3.2 is a lousy GPA for me.
dun comfort me if u hav higher gpa coz i know that's just meaningless words
lyk how i've comforted those in e past. no harm was meant when im comforting ppl, but it hurts when im being pitied upon.
i hav my pride ok?as a single-digit pointer. and to get this kind of gpa i can say im embarrased and disgraced.
juz.....let me scold myself ok? = =
but what can i do? cry? sure. i will cry.but no use also.
honestly speaking, i got a C , my only C,for FOM. WHY FOM?!?!?
and here am i wanting to take a marketing as course choice.
_|_
wtf can i choose?
i think.i cannt get in liao lor.
wif such an avrg GPA and a C for FOM.
to get in i need a miracle.

haiz.forget it.
i dun even aim to be in any honour roll or what shit.
i dun even wantu be a leader.
i juz want a good gpa, simple sch life, and a good job in future.
dats all.
so simple, yet why is it that i cannt get it?
i hate being left behind and i might juz get shrouded in misery if that happened.

from all these rantings, now do you understand why today is a totally fking glooomy day for me?
and yet i find no tears now.
mayb....i cannt find any more excuses and had oready accepted it all.
......

kopitiam funny prank-With english subtitles

2010-03-24T22:43:00.001+08:00

LMAO WTF.

a FREE day

2010-03-19T19:05:00.002+08:00

oh fuck.
i've just pressed the wrong button and got my character to orbis.
i hav to waste $$ going back!!!!

anyway, today is a free day and i get to stay @ home.
and play!!!! ^^

had a good bbq wif DBA 13!
but the time was pretty short though.
4 hrs is srsly nt enuf even for the cooking of the food!
let alone bonding time.
but...ok la..since the main motive for the BBQ: to celebrate shyna and ling yi's bdae was accomplished.

shit im having bad cramps and i cant focus.
zzzzz.

yesterday had a dinner and kbox wif floss , bacon floss and tweetyB and zhibai.
hmm....
it all juz remind me of the coming departure and it makes me go =(
while singing the song 朋友 for her, it juz feels so...complicated.

but apparently, not every person wants to be a friend lyk how it was described in those lyrics...
i hav several examples of the different types of friendships offered in today's era.
of course, its not an exhaustive list, but its one of those which i hope to get as ;east as possible.= =

i guess every1 is pretty distant from each other nowadays.
hmm.

i guess i'll work on my own way then.

BUT FUCK THE CRAMPS ARE HURTING ME!!

disappointed. distress.

2010-03-13T02:26:00.004+08:00

as speechless as i am, i really dunno hw to react to this kinda thing.
it may seem nothing, but when everything adds up tgt
the suay-ness gets multiplied and ended up making me speechless wif nothing to vent on.

today i screamed at my mom who threw away my bottle of pork floss.
it is not sumthing of a big deal but considering the mood im in in e morning(worst mood)
and wat i plan to do wif e floss, and the PRICE of it and the freakin stupid reason of why she happen to threw it away, it all looked so fucking stupid, silly and un sensible.
i couldnt believe she juz threw it without even bother to look into e plastic bag.
WTF is she thinking?
i immediately lost control and cursed at my mom.
yes. CURSED.
i screamed vulgarities and bang a whole lot of things and finally slammed my door.
didnt even bother to take my breakfast

wat makes me madder is that
she didnt even bother to apologise or look remorse.
she didnt thinkin she was in e fuckin wrong and stared at me lyk im fk.
she still didnt apologise up till now.
ALL I WANTED WAS A SINCERE APOLOGY.SO SIMPLE.
and she juz being so fking obstinate and went out of e hse.
FINE. i hav e hse all to myself.

i noe im being unreasonably angry at her.
but all i ever wanted is an apology.
juzzz a stupid sorry will make everything thing look all right but no.
and dat feeling juz keep boiling within me.

putting her aside
i spent hours mapling. YES. again.
wat can i do?
my movie date is gone
my friends are working
and im in no mood for anything.

my interest today= things -humans+computer behind screen

and stuck myself in this map training whole day.
lvl 63 aran. still noob shyt but nvermind.
and learnt many things today.
i guess being a noobie juz meant dat i was clever enough for better deals.

and there was this guild member who played maple for 6 yrs. =o=
freakin long. no wonder she's so clear wif those deals being worthy not.

and 2moro hav dinner date of TweetyB and breadtalk staffs.
serene cannt go, again.
dun worry, i dun...blame u. anymore.
im tired and i dun wanna care anymore.
who come, who goes.
during this period of time, my life has been pretty volatile and im getting used to it soon.
many dates and activities are coming up and
----EDITED-----

im not trying to make moutains out of molehills but neither am i a really carefree person.
seriously
i dun even noe wat to do to b a good friend.
cherlyn say we should help each other, be it food treats or caring actions.
she's doing it pretty well.
my previous batch of friends.....
seems lyk they were juz looking out for themselves?
so i hav a slight " im nt a busybody, care myself jiu hao" kind of persona.

but...im slowly trying to change.
to be more compassionate to my friends who treat me well, who made me feel dat
actually, friends are more den a company, more den for the sake of being a friend in name.

i definitely will reciprocate when im on e receiving end, so dun fake at me ok?

zzzzzzzz

2010-03-10T02:07:00.002+08:00

i cant maple so i come blog.

yes, dats right!
for now, b4 my "Uruha11chan" reaches lvl 80, Maplestory stands at number 1 priority!
AND NOW ITS DOING F*ING MAINTENANCE AND PATCHES AND I CANT GET IN ARGH I FEEL SO FUCKED UP GAH!
=< size="5">NO PAIN NO GAIN
and dat makes me feel better.
while im having fun outside, i need $$, coming from e pay.
its a LOW pay but nvermind, it will pass!
sumday my parents gonna strike 4D, or some kind soul willing to BUY me, so i went mental and decided to SELL myself, or i sumhow overcame many things and became SUCCESSFULL CAREER WOMEN by myseelf(mayb can even get a giglo LMAO)'

etc.

~~holy shit i really wanna train my uruhachan now..T_T~~
haiz......
did ya all see e suicide commercial on my blog?
its coming from TOKYO GORE POLICE.
i apologise for introducing such abnormal, perverse obscenities to u but i seriously tio shocked by it.

IF u are a sadist, google this or youtube this.
spurting BLOOD, broken body parts and killing rampage will make ur day.

IF YOU ARE NT A SADIST
i sincerely hope u will ignore all this thingy and go on wif ur life, believing dat the world is pleasant,filled wif sunshine, rainbow and flower frangrance. = =

wat, me?
im a mild sadist.LOL
but i cannt accept Tokyo Gore police.
the blood is so fking fake can? ZZZZZ, its so obvious its juz red dye.
i can almost see e plastic tube where e blood is shooting out from.
zzzzz.
wat i really cannt accept is their concept.
seeing ppl laugh hysterically wif blood spilling all over e camera lense and face isnt really my thang so..YA. i watched 3 of their clips and decided dat its a waste of time.
my goosebumps are running out.

today @ work, TweetyB changed my name to PussyC.
im having difficulty in explaning the dirty secret of the word pussy to her.
so...i kinda left it alone and actually wore the PUSSYC NAMETAG until around 9+
when a male customer commented: u sure u gonn a wear THAT as ur name? i may take photo and stomp you! or sumthink.HAHAHA!

=o= im INSTANTANEOUSLY EMBARRASED TO E CORE.
well, serene also got it as her name is HELLOK.LOL
yes, she;s dat spammer on my tagboard. = =
holy lord~~~! i think i flushed brihgt red LMAO and flipped my tag around, wif e name XIAOMAN facing back to the world.

.....
.........
............

what am i gonna say to TweetB 2moro if she ask me y im nt wearing my PUSSYC?
>o< headache~!!!!
T________T

i still hav dat Mapling feelin in~
= =
god. hw am i gonna wait till 2moro 1 pm?
sheesh.im only 1 lvl away from my lvl 60 armours and gloves, 2 lvl away from Pharoah Tomb Hell mode, and the Mu Lung training centre which i've been hanging out quite often.

HAIZ.
got 1 guy who spammed me ytd, LOL u did nt scam me actually.
i got that for FREE while i charged you.
let u happy happy abit nia ok haha!
and sumhow becoz u reminded me of sumone else, so i accepted ur party.
dats all.
haaha, as if u will get to read this but i type shuang de!

i think im really turning into a maple freak.
at age 18.

Tokyo Gore Police - Wrist Cutter G commercial

2010-03-10T01:42:00.001+08:00

good!
the world is turning into a fking hell. = =
1st time see ppl so happy to wrist-cut. = =

fun time past fast..

2010-03-08T00:46:00.004+08:00

FUN TIME REEEALY FLIES FAST! and so does Ang bao Money!!!
T___T
poor thang mee...
im going poor again.....awwww~ =[
i only spent lyk $100 on entertainment, $60 on travelling. zzzzz. = =
almost gone. fk.
i curse my lack of money;
i curse my lack of luck;
i curse my bad life! >_< style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Prada Milano.
she's juz trying to hao lian i think... = =
anyway, i decided to make full us eof it and put alll of my ang bao $$ inside this Branded Angbao hoping dat it will bring me luck...
GAH.
so childish rite? i know.LOLS~!

had earring-craze these days....
i've bought 7 pairs; 5 below, 2 on my ear.
and girly bangles, and head-band. =[ abit ex. considering its pattern...
but its over~wat's spent wat's spent.
ytd went out wif SOLF to Orchard. LOL again!
from Wisma to far east to somerset 313 to Heren to plaza sing.
good excercise huh? =]
of course as usual chatted bout things u arent supposed to know~ =D

well, pictures from K are UP!!!
yaye! cheerios to zhibai who uploaded those 90+ fotos. =]
buahaha! im so glad this batch of foto turn out rather fine.
im not saying im chio la but not unglam jiu hao le rite! =DDD

the only regret dat day is pputting abit too muc serum on my hair
resulting in dat sticky fringe. = =

in e mall where there are nobody else, im glad im wif my friends!! =D

wahaha!serene u go buy some plastic rimm spects leh!
if not later got pattern again. LMAO.

wahaha today play maple till shuang shuang.
nver lvl up, but joined a guild called Perfect Lovers.
so cool!!LOLS~
actually, ppl on maple are quite friendly la..LOL
i dunno what his motive but got 1 guy gave me alot of things.
pot, unagi, 500k, mastery book. =o=
mayb he's so rich dat he doesnt need it.
LOL. anyway, he;s been a great help on helping me train.WAHAHA
lvl up soon!!!
so hooked up on talking to diff ppl dat i hang onto maple for 9 hrs. =o=

i dun care if u re saying im a freak for setting up a social life on virtual worlds but yea.
its nice u noe to hav another set of social life.
expecially when u dun hav to go any other place, or dat it real life socialising is becoming more difficult....
at ease, at home.LOLS!

wahahaa..
cant believe bbf wanted to go causeway 2moro..= =
told her causeway sian.LOL.she say nver go b4.
wa she so high nver go b4.LOL
zhibai also nver go b4 until i brought her there...
=o= is ppl living in Woodlands sumhow detached from e world?
anyway, i nver go westmall b4.
LOL.
i bringin bbf to causeway, she bringin me to westmall.LOL!

SET!

back to work on tue.
OH GOD.
sian TTM!
serious!
to zhibai who is starting work 2moro, gd luck and see ya @ work!
to me starting work on TUE, oh god dun think bout maple at work! =o=

zhibai benny lingyi see ya on tue for movieeee! =D

NIGHT OUT.

2010-03-05T22:09:00.003+08:00

this one drama really nice LOL
kame kame!!
and its now i realise dat takenaga-kun isnt akanishi jin. = =
OMG.
is wat uchi hiroki.
big time CUTE GUY!!!

really he damn .........OMg good-looking~~ ^o^

anyways....finished exam on tue...YAY!
so fast!
dat was lyk 3 days ago oready.....
OMG.wtf?!
i feel lyk only 1 day had gone!
no wonder i so tired....zzzz.
right after e last paper i went for steamboat wif DBA 13 classmates...
so sad dat reina serene and minnie nver go... = =

den after dat, being reluctant to go homee we went to walk bugis....
LOL. a big grp of 11 cant really do much....den finally ended up @ ION.
went to e sky park to chill and ended e day @ 11.

wed was home rotting day..
i practically spent e whole day chiong Maple.
dats right~! ^^
aiyah i bought e 2X exp card ma...cannt waste!
so must chiong....
lvl 57!!! yayae!

thu was party night!!!!
prepared to TON @ Kbox de!!!!
really!
den i wantu go out play den purposely go draw think think eyeliner.LOLS.
long time nver do le maaaaaa.....=X

wa lao ytd Kbox damn lots of ppl.
very malu den cannt extend....T_T
aiya.....very sian diao halfway...
took damn lots of picture..... waiting for zhibai to recover and upload them!
woa zhibai sound lyk ren yao ytd..LOLS!
sibei man!

ben lai settle Kbox @ cineleisure de...
den cann extend dio change place....
to Marina1!!!
shyna only be wif us @ cine de ...
we she go home in cab after dat we go marina de kbox till 3 am....

den go chill along e singapore river....LMao
chatted damn lots of stuffs for 2 hrs...
WOA.

really lyk e fresh air outside at night. makes me feel so....refreshed.LOLS!

LOL in e morning go home can see so many sec sch students...
I TRY MY BEST NOT TO SMIRK.LOL
its lyk so dumb la! but i keep wanting to smirk.
LOL.

i think coz i too guai liao....LOL!

wa sia today 6.30 reach home.
e aunties on e train keep staring at me.
wats wrong wif them = =.
den after bath sibei energetic sia!!
cannt sleeep!
den play maple....watch anime.... until 11 den sleep...
until 5.LOL!

if not ltr at night cannt sleep.

sian arrr!
i wan go Kbox again!!!
u noe now e promo damn cheap?!
$8 for 3 hr plus 1 free drink?

but....as compared to e promos et in e past..
of course last time is cheaper abit....
= = dunno why they wan change so much..LOL

i no mood type liao.....
LOL keep drifing to do other things....
i give up!

past present future

2010-03-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

i guess this could wait until 2moro.
because 2moro last paper, also last day wif DBA 13. really last le i think.=]
but.
i dunno.
i may just dun hav the mood to do this 2moro..

DBA 13 08/09. not only once i hav mentioned about being sad because its gonna be gone soon. real soon.
things jus keep replaying all over again.

FOC, FOP ,flag day, hui ping, facils ,wacko ,blow-wind-blow , names memorising, choosing chairmen and stuffs, DBA 13 lunchtime,gala-night insomnia dance , nightwalks, zouk clubbing, them, tennis camp ,flour face , him, job hunting ,bitching ,crystine-shock, finding blocks and name-spelling ,staying back in classroom chit chat, MOB Taboo game, b'dae celebrating be it ECP at sch wif cakes, steamboat @ minnie's, lunch-time camwhore, idea egg-parachutes, poker, monopoly-deal,sakae, ice-skating, kallang theatre, Moberly class K-box, oovo web cam, YMCA etc.

this are juz a very brief excerpt of the year.
if there;s more, remind me. because i can feel my mind overloading all those memories.
im not gonna make it sound corny and touchy watever shit because until i refuse to let myself become sum1 who cannt let go.
but its slowly getting corny isnt it? LOLS.

i dun think we will be able to meet up anytime we want nxt yr.
lyk wat happened to my other cliques, JC cliques in particular.
cant blame anyone because it isnt anyone's fault in e 1st place! haha =]
everyone's busy ....but at least, they still remember my b'dae and i remember theirs...
my daughters...AHAHA! =D

anyway~ yea. nxt year's not gonna be e same without you guys.
im really happy because u guys are my classmates because i nver really expect it to be so good! =]
i tot it gonna be lyk some sort of the 4 biatching guys @ lecture or sumthink worse.
nevertheless, im relieved, and im so glad it turned out so fine.

gah ITS SO FUCKING CORNY OMFG IM SO SORRY LOL!

er hem. i juz wish most of us can be in e same class once again!
and dat we will not turn into strangers when we met on e streets!even though we end up only as schmates!
because im so sick of meeting "STRANGERS" all along this year.
u noe it i noe it its fine. =] coz its meant to be.

we will say HI, right? =]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
juz now hav been blog-hopping again.
yea behaving lyk a gossip girl but nevermind.
ever since i;ve cultivated my current socialising style, i get access to alot of things and facts which i may not hav found out in e past.
many ppl's life changed, or never changed, or remained.
its all beyond e eyes of the beholder.

all along these years, i could have discovered another side of various things
another, more...realistic side of things.
but i didnt, because i didnt believe it was true. and also im simply tooo focus on studies. lyk most of the 4/4ers.
haha.but now, it is so clear, lyk a mind-map, showing all the connections and links.

some expressed a more matured side of them
some got over it
some contradict themselves and did sumthink which they would hav denied in e past.=D
some remained the same, with the same people and social circles.
some changed a set of social circles
some changed their besties
some changed their relationship statuses
some had their blog and lifes closed off from other people. limiting to sch and work.

we are all moving on with our lives
no matter whether there are further crossroads where we may meet.
sometimes, im amazed at how they can get to hang out wif their same grp of friends until now, lyk getting into e same sch and continuing e same lifestyle.
the interruption of new classmates doesnt seem to disturb them at all.

=]
grow up mandy
u noe what u hav seen wif ur eyes and wat u have learnt.
be it old or new. as long as u are happy wif them, they are happy wif who u are, they deserved to be cherished and remembered.
i still got at least 20 years ahead.
all those,
doesnt really matter anymore.

insecured revision = useless efffort.

2010-02-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

as contrary, BIG BIG contrary, to wat our econs lecturer believes
i think, for ALL subjects dat is related to maths and calculations,
PRACTISE IS WAT MAKES THEM PERFECT AND PAPERS WILL DO A FUCKING GOOD HELP WITH FORMULA REVISION AND ITS APPLICATION.

and there is only 1 pathetic pass yr paper for econs
and it made me totally lost in my revision.

honestly saying i dun even noe where to start, wat to do for adequate revision and i will be fucking happy if there's such a thing called TYS for the subject.

for me, practise papers helped ALOT with familiarizing myself with questions so that i wun jump in fright when random (stupid) questions pop up during exams.
say im kiasu, say im kiasi. FINE.
i admit im those kind of traditional, kinetically minded students who need to manually knock those THINGS inside my big head.
without practise, correction, sufficient practises, I WOULD NOT HAVE MY MARKS.
putting it bluntly, i would not hav an A for my maths. both.

so what am i gonna do now? for econs?
random reading of lecture notes, bluffing dat i understand all of them, scan thru topic exercises and expect myself to be able to apply the correct technic in exams?
sorry i dun think i can do it.

right now im so fed up that i dunno shld i continue to wonder aimlessly in the econs notes or wat.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

sibei irritated.
THE END.

Tainaka Sachi - 最高の片想い (LIVE)

2010-02-26T15:14:00.001+08:00

OMG!!!
her singing is PRO PRO PRO!!

guilty. but not so...guilty.

2010-02-25T21:01:00.002+08:00

*sighs*
i juz find many many excuses to keep me occupied..
from studying.

wellinotgoingtosayiletmyselfslackedbutthetruthisiwatchedmanyepisodesofsaiunkokumonogatariandthenigoplaymapleandtheniwatcheditagainandtheni............

T__________T
slap myself.
*sighs*

mommy's not in s'pore...
so i hav to think about food.
and i dun really hav appetite this morning...
threw away e whole bowl of oats after 2 bites...GAH!

i guess i will slim dwn faster when my mom's not here wif me?
LOL coz no 1 will force me to eat.

waking up to a home of solitude.
dats what it means. =]
i dun really hate it..in fact, its peaceful!
juz....
i will think about alot of things. HAHA.

i think i appreciates a quite afternoon at home more then any1 else.
because dats exactly what i crave for ever since im studying and working.
busy busy busy, tired tired tired has been a word recurring too many times until i myself got so sick of it.
i think im quite reluctant to go back working after exams.
=(

but..its also this break, that made me miss working moments. instead of tinting it wif destest.
ppl whom i will meet at work...
i quite missed my collegues!
expecially TWEETY BIRD. LOL!
tweetybird is a very good cashier head!!! =DDDDD
im sad dat she will be going home in march.
but...if im her i will of course go home. haha....

come to think of it.
im glad dat other then sum perverts, = = i didnt met any1 with horrible character.
blessing isnt it?

the ugliest side of a human. u will come to see it when u step into to the society.

sum1 said to me while i was young.
it is true, but i think...it wasnt exactly that bad....=]

there is a friend
who suddenly asked for work so dat the pay can be used to buy something desired.
jus to buy that thing.
is that determination or a moment's folly?

i wanted to help but towards the end, i find it....difficult to help sincerely.
because i noe, employers really dun like employees who are set for work jus because they think they wanted to. then quit a while later because they dun want to.
what these ppl doesnt see, is the hassle involved behind when a staff suddenly quits,and their share of work has to be done by the remaining ppl.

believe me because i said this from personal experience.
its fustrating, that a person's selfish working attitude, can spoil the day for other people, and yet, the in charge can only take things the hard way.
ppl who dun hav e determination to slog, pls think twice when taking up a job.
its a decision which, by all means, should be taken in a much serious manner.
it is after all, a responsibility which concerns not only urself, bout others as well.

hmmm. i guess thats it for now ?
OMG i ahven started revising my econs!!!
OMFG......
see lah anime anime anime maple maple maple!!!!
GAAAAH
WHY I CANNT CONTROL MYSELF PROPERLY?!!?!?

the only advantage, is dat i can type my username and pasword with super speed!! LOLS! =X
can that be sumthing to be proud of?

wasted.

2010-02-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

humph! fucking wasted my precious hours!

I CANT LOG IN TO MY MAIN MAPLE ACCOUNT!
but other world i can!
DAMMIT!
I COULD HAV PLAYED LONGER TODAY!
ARGH!
I DUNNO WAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, EVERYTIME I TRIED TO LOG IN, IT JUS SAY:SERVER CONNECTION ENDED.

...........
..................
....................................

im so speechless and fustrated.
tsk. wasted.

2day was double paper day.
FOM early in e morning.
HAIZ.
but fom was......better den i expected at least.
Breadtalk Grp came out!LMAO!
food opera....now it get stucked in my head.
finally, having spent days trying to squeeze them into my head....
now i can abandon them!!!
HAHAHA!
abandon them!!!

and i juz screwed Biz maths paper.
dat paper made me more stress den O'lvl a maths luh!!
OMG.
i was frantic when i cant seem to solve e problem, den i can do anything either except to rack my brains for a way, a stupid way, hoping to solve them by chance.GAAAAAAAAAH

screw intregration!
screw exponentials!
dai kirai!!!
>_<

its was damn stressful as i cannt believe my own inability since i scored A1 for amaths.
GAH.
hopeless.

and 2day.
early in the morning.
i was sms-ing on e bus stop, den i juz saw a random bus coming.
I SERIOUSLY DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A NEW BUS SERVICE OVER AT MY BUSSTOP
and out of habit, i juz board the bus without looking at the number.

SUPER BIG MISTAKE, OH GAWD.
it almost went onto expressway b4 i rang e bell to get dwn.
seriously if it went highway, i wouldnt be able to make it for exams.

AND SO, I FEEL SO BLESSED TODAY.
so clever to get out of dat darn bus b4 everything was too late.

and guess wat my horoscope said today?

get out early and hav a good run, u will achieve inspiration.

WAT INSPIRATION IS THIS!?
i did hav quite a brisk walk from the busstop to bus interchange.

my heart was thumping so wildly dat i tot i will juz giv my life right there.
HUMPH. adventurous morning.

NOTHING HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME TODAY!

as such, i hate wednesday. =(

nerves.

2010-02-22T13:18:00.002+08:00

i am here.
as i dunno wat to do now.

shit man. im having diarrhea and having exams in 2 hrs time. zzzzzz!

i juz shit randomly in between my revision.i now den realise is abit lyk diarrhea.
could it be those spicy noodles in e morning?
could it be those weird leftover wantons which i mistakenly figured to be ok?(there's a weird smell though....)

or could it be e chicken ytd from e fridge ever since new year?

OH GAWD WAT AM I EATING....

anyways. i am so gonna tahan thru PACC today. I WILL!>_<

i hav been very temperamental since copping myself up in my room for revision.
its has always lyk dat during exam periods.
i will suddenly stand up, and walk out of my room gloomily, wailing Im tired~
my parents are pretty used to it now to e pt tat they ignore me.LOL
my mom even went to m'sia. she say a quiet home will do you good.
GAH. just say dat u wantu see my uncle(s) lah.LOL say till so nice

i will get very easily irritated.YES.

HAIZ. such confessions...
i wonder why i wrote them here.

i realised my sms replies and wat msn replies are pretty much shorter den usual.
humph. sumhow.

this pre exam syndrome will go away on 2 Mar 2010. HEHE